Joyful Musings: There's Something About A Man In A Toupee

By SUSAN DROMEY HEETER, Joyful Musings, InDepth NH

In a world where so much is happening, it seems only time to muse joyfully - or simply to just muse on hairpieces, on things men put on top of their heads to show the world a different top, a dome with less glare, a northern hemisphere helped out by modern science - or simply modern - something.

And, certainly it seems women are helped out enormously by hair extensions, colors, fillers, there is just something about toupees, hair pieces, Rogaine which, to me, just begs some observation.

According to Reddit, hair systems for men can vary greatly by price. I saw one thread where words like olaplex and maintenance systems were thrown around; oils, transformation and hair club for men words intermittently featured. And then I wanted real examples, real people.

On the website truhair.co.uk, celebrities who “have hair systems, toupees, and men’s hair wigs” include John Travolta, Brad Pitt, Nicolas Cage, Al Pacino and Jude Law. I did not suspect Pitt nor Law and now will really look up close when I watch one of their films. Who knew? I did not. As far as politicians go, the blond man in the White House is simply low hanging fruit. But what about Rand Paul? Is that a rug or are those curls natural? While perusing the web, it does look like there is no definite answer. In my opinion, Rand is undoubtedly IN the Hair Club for Men. There’s just way too much on top. And curls? Really?

But what about Marco Rubio? He does appear to be doing the old school comb over in addition to exceptional maintenance. His hair line appears to be shrinking, his forehead is diminishing rather than expanding. Does he use plugs? A rug? Hard to say. But, while “rubio” translates to “blond”, Mr. Rubio is nothing but moreno/brunette - undoubtedly with some help from Clairol.

Heads are interesting things and it must be challenging for men to go about their days watching their combs fill with memories of tresses, of locks, of thickness not of waists but of hair. My own dad had a receding hairline seemingly from the time he was 15; my oldest brother mentioned how only a year or two ago he caught a glimpse of the back of his head, noticed the bald spot and wondered, “Who IS that guy?” Alas, it was him. The horrors - and the funny memory. Aging is not for the faint of heart.

But aging is embracing the gloriousness of life, health, the passage of time. If you happen to have a good head of hair, kudos to you. If you do not and are looking for some tresses and help, there is a massive industry there for support, guidance and insight. But ultimately, I muse joyfully you embrace your imperfect self and dome above. And, if not? You can always grow a beard.

Susan Dromey Heeter writes from Newmarket and often from the road where she joyfully muses on life in the fast and slow lanes. She drives a stick shift, can also ride a unicycle and recently retired after 30+ years of teaching. Dromey Heeter finds joy primarily in Milk Duds and people who make her laugh, not necessarily in that order. Follow Susan @dromeyheeter on Instagram and/or @BudgetVogue63. She can also be reached at dromeyheeter@gmail.com.

This article first appeared on InDepthNH.org and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.