Father of Bullied Teen Who Committed Suicide Speaks to West Essex Families

Motivational speaker John Halligan, the father of a 13-year-old who committed suicide after being bullied, spoke to West Essex Middle School students to help their peers and stop bullying.

Halligan spoke to three assemblies at West Essex Middle School last week, including two student assemblies during the day, and then to parents at a special presentation in the evening at 7 p.m. This was his second trip to West Essex Middle School – he also spoke at WEMS in 2012.

Halligan’s son Ryan committed suicide on Oct. 7, 2003 when he was 13 after he was ridiculed and humiliated by peers in school and online. During his talks at WEMS, the father recounted the story of his son’s life from his birth to his death, focusing on the problems he had with bullying the last few years of his life.

“We have no doubt that bullying and cyber bullying were significant environmental factors that triggered Ryan’s depression,” Halligan said.

Halligan encouraged students to ask for help if they need it.

“If it is too hard to go to your parents, go to another adult,” he said, noting that West Essex Middle School has many adults who are available to help students.

Halligan also asked middle schoolers to be nice to each other and help each other. “When you bully somebody, you bully their whole family,” he said. “My son died and the rest of us are wounded for life.”

Halligan told students to help their peers and stop bullying. “Don’t be a bystander, be an upstander. If you have a friend who is bullying other people, stand up to them. If a “friend” is bullying others, he or she may not be such a good friend.”

West Essex Middle School Principal Vee Popat said he is grateful that Mr. Halligan visited WEMS.

“His program was extremely impactful for our students, as it addressed topics that are highly relevant to the middle-level age group, Popat said. “While it is difficult to discuss bullying and the lasting effects that bullying can have, it is a critical discussion for us to have with our students. Mr. Halligan gave our students an experience that should help to promote a positive school climate and culture at West Essex.”

West Essex Middle School Assistant Principal Lisa Tamburri said the program benefited West Essex Middle School students and their parents.

“Mr. Halligan captivated his audience and made a lasting impression,” Tamburri said. “What he shared was incredible informative and heart wrenching!”

Halligan has been outspoken about the need for more education and the prevention of bullying, cyber bullying and teen suicide throughout the United States. He blames “the whole system” for his son’s death and notes “something had to happen in response to this tragedy.”

“We decided to take all this intense pain and channel it into productive areas to help other young people avoid the same fate as our son,” Halligan said.

Halligan, a Vermont resident, was involved in a bully prevention law in Vermont. He expressed to West Essex Middle School staff that New Jersey has one of the most stringent anti-bullying laws in the country.

Information and photo courtesy of Allison Freeman, Manager of Communications & Community Outreach, West Essex Regional Schools