Russ's Ravings: A Kind Gesture Can Change A Life. Make Them

Editor's note: The following is Patch Field Editor Russ Crespolini's, hopefully, weekly column. It is reflective of his opinion alone.

I will never forget the day Todd Richissin sent me a private message in Slack. I had just gone public and printed a piece about my brain tumor diagnosis, and I was in the midst of figuring out next steps.

Todd was the National Editor at Patch, having previously worked at The Associated Press, The (Raleigh) News & Observer and The Baltimore Sun. He covered war and hyperlocal news and had a real passion for elections and our Democracy, something we both shared.

But my job on a regular basis doesn't generally call for us to interact, so I made the logical assumption when I saw his message.

I was in trouble.

After a lifetime of getting behavior marks on my report cards and being told I was the "crazy one" on the team I sort of was used to that. Still, I reached out to my immediate bosses and asked their thoughts.

"What'd I do? Todd wants me to call him." I asked Kara Seymour, who runs our NJPA team.

"I don't know. He probably wants to talk to you about pitching your stories for MSN," she replied.

Turns out we were both wrong.

Todd wanted to talk to me about my diagnosis and my upcoming trip to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York. Todd wanted to talk to me because he had first-hand experience there fighting his own health challenges. And he wanted to speak to me about mine.

I was immediately struck by the profound act of kindness for someone who I didn't really know well, to have reached out to me when I was so vulnerable. And beyond that, this person was willing to share his experiences with me.

Sharing the intimate details of facing an illness or trauma is an act of courage. It costs you something to do it. I chose to write about my experiences because it helped me process what I was going through and it helped me share what I thought was helpful perspective.

Todd generously shared his impressions and gave me a frank assessment of what I was going to experience. Todd told me that I was going to feel overwhelmed by the size and scope of the building. That it would seem so monumental, so difficult to navigate that it might paralyze me at first blush. He told me that I needed to breathe and focus on the fact that it was this size because it was there to treat so many people and that I should take heart in that.

Our conversation not only set my mind at ease, but it provided me the insight I needed to get through those appointments there. To swallow that fear. To stave off the panic. To focus on getting well.

Todd shared with me that his prognosis, despite the best efforts of those at Sloan, was not as good as mine. But that he found ways to focus on the positive and to pay it forward. I would like to think our phone calls was one of those ways.

I told him I was attempting that with my columns, something he said I should keep doing and that was a time when I felt I might be faltering. I will never express how that act of kindness, which cost him something personally, meant to me. It changed my life.

I am grateful it wasn't a video call, so he didn't see the tears in my eyes when we disconnected.

He made some of the hardest days I faced, easier. Did I tell him? Did he know? I hope so.

On Oct. 23, Todd died, ending his battle with cancer.

A quote Todd shared in his profile said “As I look back over a misspent life, I find myself more and more convinced that I had more fun doing news reporting than in any other enterprise. It is really the life of kings.”

The life of kings.

But the man was a prince.

I wish I could have provided the counsel, and comfort he gave me. But I will make sure to give it to others.

Todd Richissin reminded me that a heartfelt gesture can have an impact on anyone, if we care to make one. And because of him, and to honor him, I will.

And I am again grateful you can't see my eyes.

Russ Crespolini is a Field Editor for Patch Media, adjunct professor and college newspaper advisor. His columns have won awards from the National Newspaper Association and the New Jersey Press Association.

He writes them in hopes of connecting with readers and engaging with them. And because it is cheaper than therapy. He can be reached at russ.crespolini@patch.com