‘It’s About The Friendship’: Cake Tradition Spans Decades In Monmouth County

RED BANK, NJ — It was 1969 when Monmouth County natives Priscilla Gandel and Diane Marshall Gradone first stood in Gandel’s childhood kitchen and decided to bake a cake, unknowingly sparking a tradition that would last for decades.

Gandel, now a resident of Red Bank, and Gradone, now a resident of West Allenhurst, used Duncan Heinz boxed marble cake mix and Betty Crocker’s chocolate frosting to bake the cake on Sunday, Nov. 23, 1969.

After the pair finished making it, they took a photo and wrote a note on the back of the Polaroid to memorialize the occasion.

Though they didn’t know it at the time, it was a tradition the two of them would repeat for decades to come each time Nov. 23 falls on a Sunday.

“We do it the same way each year,” Gradone told Patch. “Even the little silliness of how we write the date on the photo (Gradone always writes the date, but Gandel always makes sure to sign her own name). We’re always holding the cake in the exact same position, and we always try to replicate the clothes.”

To date, Gandel said the pair has repeated their baking tradition nine times, including their latest cake, which was made in her Red Bank home on Sunday.

Though the tradition is only done when Nov. 23 falls on a Sunday, the pair said it’s extremely important to both of them and stands as both a testament to their friendship and shows how people can connect with each other, despite their differences.

“We’ve been such close friends for all these years, but our lives have taken totally different paths,” Gandel told Patch. “If we were to meet each other now, I don’t think that we would consider that we could be close friends.”

While Gradone and Gandel share differences in lifestyles, beliefs, politics and more, the pair said those differences have never stood in the way of their closeness, and that their cake tradition is just one (of many things) that strengthens their bond.

“I think the message here is that friendship is maybe the most important thing in many people’s lives,” Gandel said. “It certainly is in mine. My girlfriends are everything – especially Diane. It’s about the friendship, it's not about the cake.”

Gradone agreed, adding that friendship is something that must be nourished and kept alive over time.

While the pair’s cake tradition has helped the two stay in touch, Gradone said there’s also been a certain kinship she’s shared with Gandel over the years, and that by telling their story, they hope others will start their own traditions too.

“When I tell people this story, many of them will say, ‘Wow, you have friends that far back?’ and I think we both have a lot of childhood friends that we’ve kept as friends because we’ve worked at it over the years,” Gradone said.

“When you’re young, and you grow up together, there’s a kinship,” Gradone continued. “I think it’s great that we’ve kept [this tradition] alive. I think it’s important.”

Going forward, the pair said this is far from their last cake. No matter the place or time, both plan to be ready and in the kitchen the next time Nov. 23 falls on a Sunday, Gradone and Gandel said.

Currently, the next Sunday, Nov. 23, is projected to take place in 2031.

“This is not our last one,” Gradone said. “We’ll make it work. No matter where we are, what we’re doing, we’ll make it. We’ll get together.”

A full timeline of Gradone and Gandel's cake tradition to date can be seen below (photos are all courtesy of Priscilla Gandel and Diane Marshall Gradone):

Editor's Note: This article was updated to correct a quote attribution. Patch regrets the error.