'His Agony Doesn’t End:' Man Accused In Brother's Killing Wrote Poems Of Pain, Loss

PRINCETON, NJ — A man accused in the slaying of his brother in a Princeton apartment over the weekend had shared some emotional poems on his social media over the last year that talked of pain and loneliness.

Matthew Hertgen, 31, has been charged with murder in the killing of Joseph Hertgen, 26, on Saturday night at an apartment at Michelle Mews, off Paul Robeson Place near Palmer Square, the Mercer County Prosecutor's Office said.

Joseph Hertgen was found dead, along with a cat, Saturday night when Matthew Hertgen called 911 to report fire and a dead body inside the apartment, authorities said.

Investigators found a golf club and a knife, and the prosecutor's office said Joseph Hentgen's body had injuries that showed signs of blunt force trauma and lacerations. The cause of death was pending an autopsy, officials said.

The death of the cat prompted an animal cruelty charge, the prosecutor's office said.

The brothers, who grew up in Toms River with an older brother, appear to have been sharing the apartment; internet searches showed both having the same current address at the apartment complex.

The brothers both played soccer at and graduated from Toms River North, Matthew in 2011 and Joseph in 2016, and both continued to play soccer in college, with Matthew at Wesleyan and Joseph at the University of Michigan.

A friend who knew both Matthew and Joseph remembered playing soccer with Matthew and playing in a band with him when they were in eighth grade.

"His parents were always so nice. So sorry that they just lost two sons," the man wrote.

Joseph Hertgen's University of Michigan soccer biography noted he earned honors at Toms River North, including being named to the New Jersey Central II All-State team, Shore Conference First Team in the A South division and Toms River North's Offensive Player of the Year and MVP for his senior season. His collegiate career was hampered by injuries but he earned academic honors while being on the team. A tweet from the Michigan men's soccer team account in 2019 showed him smiling and laughing with a teammate.

Joseph was an analyst at Locust Point Capital and had been there since December 2023, according to his LinkedIn profile. He had worked in Dallas after graduating from Michigan with a degree in finance.

Joseph Hertgen was "The best of the best," a woman who graduated from Toms River North wrote on Facebook, sharing smiling photos of herself posed with him. "My heart is broken for your family and friends who became family. Fly high Hertgen."

Matthew Hertgen's biography on the Wesleyan University men's soccer website does not include much biographical information and does not say what he majored in while he was there. Information on what he has done since college is scarce online.

His Facebook timeline includes smiling photos from his time in college. But Matthew's timeline has only sporadic posts in the last two years, including a pair of untitled poems that speak of heartache, loss and an inability to break free from the source of the pain.

Photos from a January 2023 solo hike include one of an uprooted tree. He captioned it: "Just look at how the dirt still clings to the roots of the tree a year after the tornado knocked it over. Dirt! The tree fell a year ago! I implore you to move on and find a new tree. Let go!"

A March 2024 poem reads in part, "Who are you? Why do you haunt me? Why won't you let me find solace?" and "Do you want me to burn everything down? Must I sacrifice everything to your altar? Is there not enough ashes already?"

A poem he posted in September 2024 reads in part, "Someone sits alone in that room. That room where the walls shake. He still has a pulse. Blood still flows through his veins. But something is wrapped around him. Squeezing him. Choking him. Suffocating him." and "His agony doesn’t end. His pains only get worse. The waves make him sicker. He can barely keep his eyes open. But knows what appears when he closes them."

It ends with, "Someone sits alone in that room. That room where the god is. He is suffering terribly. But knows what it means to fall in love."

The full text of Hertgen's poems:

March 2024

Why does the moonlight once again burn my skin?
Was that you again?
In my dreams?
Who are you?
Why do you haunt me?
Why won't you let me find solace?
Where are you leading me?
In what dark alley way will we lock eyes this time?
On which empty city street will we cross paths this time?
In what desolate basement will we find ourselves this time?
Why am I powerless in your presence?
What is this that I am feeling?
Is it desire? Is it love? Is it shame? Is it fear?
But am I even in your presence?
Are you there? Or are you not there?
Is that your voice? Or is that my voice?
Was that the work of my hands? Or was that the work of your hands?
Do you like to watch me suffer?
Do you like to crush me with pain?
Do you like to hear me moan?
Now what is it that you want me to do this time?
Do you want me to burn everything down?
Must I sacrifice everything to your altar?
Is there not enough ashes already?
Have I not spent enough time in the furnace? In your furnace?
What is that I hear you saying?
That there must be nothing left of me?
But is that really you speaking?
Or is it the spirit?

September 2024

What have you created?
Why have you created it?
Who are you trying to strangle?
And what god are you serving?
I can see the knives sharpening.
I can hear the arrows whizzing.
I can feel my heart beating.
But can he?

Someone sits alone in that room.
That room where the walls shake.
He still has a pulse.
Blood still flows through his veins.
But something is wrapped around him.
Squeezing him. Choking him. Suffocating him.
Tightly wound around his head.
Fastened deep in his throat.
Blood oozes out of his eyes.
His ears are sparking.
His face vibrates.
He convulses, and he doesn't stop.
He's lost. He's asleep. He's dead.
His spirit has been crucified.
His agony doesn’t end.
His pains only get worse.
The waves make him sicker.
He can barely keep his eyes open.
But knows what appears when he closes them.

Someone sits alone in that room.
That room where the fountain is.
He's hunched over.
The fountainhead is aimed at his face.
Waters erupt from the spout on him.
The pressure in his head is unbearable.
The fountain shakes. His brain shakes.
And so does the floor under his feet.
He is drunk on the waters.
He is drowning.
He can barely breath.
He won't eat a thing.
His body is surrounded by fires.
The fires are blazing inside of him.
He is combusting into nothing.
His eyes redden by the minute.
Creases form on his forehead.
He keeps his mouth tightly closed.
But knows what happens when he opens it.

Someone sits alone in that room.
That room where the god is.
He is suffering terribly.
But knows what it means to fall in love.

Anyone with potential case information was asked to contact the Mercer County Prosecutor’s Homicide Task Force Sgt. Will Jett at 609-331-5010 or Detective Karl Johnston at 609-439-5248.