Ho Ho Please No: SantaCon NYC 2022 Is Coming To Town

NEW YORK CITY — Is that Mommy kissing Santa Claus, and why are they both drunk? Yes, and because SantaCon NYC 2022 is coming to town.

The annual spectacle of hordes of booze-sodden Kris Kringles bar-crawling across the city will return Saturday at 10 a.m.

Starting from Broadway and 40th Street, the Christmas cheer will spread to 64 locations across Manhattan, according to the event's map. And Santas are reminded to heed the five "Fs of SantaCon."

• Don't F*** with kids
• Don't F*** with cops
• Don't F*** with bar staff
• Don't F*** with NYC
• Don't F*** with Santa's Charity Mission

Despite those rules, New Yorkers have decidedly mixed (no, not like the drinks) feelings about SantaCon and its ho-ho-hedonism.

Horror stories about the event are legion, such as this sadly representative tale from Reddit: "My friend's son asked him 'Dad, why is Santa puking on the train?'"

Many New Yorkers cheered when SantaCon organizers canceled the event in 2020 because of the coronavirus pandemic. The same city dwellers lamented its return in 2021, which many — incorrectly, according to health experts — tied to the spread of the Omicron variant in the city.

SantaCon organizers are steadfast that the avowedly non-political, proudly nonsensical event is a bit of harmless "absurdist joy" that has raised $900,000 in the past decade for charities such as City Harvest, Neighbors Together and Clowns Without Borders.

Patch last year also found that SantaCon actually does not drive a spike in 311 complaints for noise and public urination — a sign that the event either isn't as rowdy as its reputation, or that New Yorkers simply shrug off drunken shenanigans as par the course for the day.

A SantaCon ticket costs $15 and can be purchased on the event's website.

Click here for a map of where SantaCon bars and venues will be.