Keeping An Open Heart & Mind In America In 2024 & Beyond

Two weeks after the initial shock of Donald Trump's 2016 victory, rather than complain about the election’s outcome, I forced myself to be proactive. How could I (owner of Stoop Juice which closed in 2020) enable a local debate made up of a combination of both my curiosity, skepticism and an informed perspective of all that was happening in America? When I wasn’t serving smoothies or shots of wheatgrass, I framed current events based on empirical support, practical relevance, psychological insights, cultural context, and ethical considerations instead of bias evaluation. What was my only other option? To solely relying on the media, Facebook and/or Twitter.

In January 2017, I started going for long daily walks where I imagined myself hosting a webcast convened by the likes of Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi, who (both) disagreed politically but somehow in my presence were willing to mutually acknowledge the other side may see some real threats more clearly than does one’s own side. Believe it or not, I did this sober, (before marijuana was legalized). As for politics in real life, I believe all political parties are made up of flawed people. The acceptance of this reality head on - I don’t expect perfection in government with regards to politics. I don’t presume rationality will triumph. The wise does everything to assume that error and folly will try to have their way and create structures to contain them. The wise never expects that one person can be everything to them.

Yet, while using my imagination to conceptualize my broadcasts, I learned that engaging in debates with imaginary individuals (who lack empathy and have a narrow perspective/paradigm) can be challenging, especially if you want to enable open-hearted and open-minded exchanges. Whereas, nostalgia (Make America Great Again) is a complex emotional experience that can often make one overlook or downplay certain aspects of the past, including one's own ignorance. Here are some strategies to help you navigate these situations:

A: Keep your emotions in check and maintain a calm demeanor, even when faced with provocative or insensitive comments. This can help prevent escalating the situation. Nostalgia tends to be selective, focusing on positive or pleasant memories while downplaying or even ignoring negative aspects. This selective memory can create a bias where one may remember the good parts of the past more vividly than the moments of ignorance or mistakes.

B: Practice active listening by genuinely trying to understand their point of view, even if you strongly disagree. This can encourage the other person to reciprocate and engage in a more constructive dialogue. Nostalgia is often associated with strong emotional feelings, and these emotions can overshadow or minimize the recognition of one's past ignorance. The positive emotions tied to nostalgic memories can make it harder to see or accept one's past limitations.

C: Try to understand where the other person is coming from, their background, experiences, and the factors that have shaped their beliefs. Empathy can foster a more understanding and compassionate exchange. Nostalgia can lead to idealizing the past, viewing it through rose-colored glasses. This idealization can cause individuals to believe that they were more knowledgeable or capable in the past than they actually were. Ignorance and mistakes tend to be downplayed or even romanticized.

D: Avoid making accusatory statements like the authors of "The Fourth Turning” (William Strauss and Neil Howe). In the book, the authors offer an intriguing perspective on the cyclical nature of history and generational influence on society. Their perspective’s strengths include its historical patterns, predictive potential, and insights into generational dynamics. However, it also has weaknesses related to empirical evidence, determinism, cultural variations, subjectivity, and criticism from academic circles. Strauss and Howe failed to express their own perspectives using "I" statements. For example, saying/writing, "I believe..." or "I feel..." This can make your points less confrontational and more personal. People generally like to think of themselves as competent and knowledgeable. Recognizing one's past ignorance can challenge this self-perception, making it difficult to acknowledge that one didn't know as much as they do now.

E: Encourage the other person to think deeper about their beliefs by asking open-ended questions. This can promote critical thinking and a more open conversation. Over time, individuals tend to gain more knowledge and experience, and as they do, they may forget what it was like to be less informed. This can lead to a disconnect between their current understanding and their past ignorance.

F: Identify shared values or concerns to build bridges. Even in the most divisive debates, there are often some common goals or principles that both parties can agree on. Ensure you have a solid understanding of the topic under discussion. Being well-informed can bolster your arguments and help you present your perspective more effectively. Present facts, data, and logical arguments to support your viewpoint. Avoid emotional arguments, as they may be less effective with individuals who lack empathy. Acknowledge the other person's emotions and perspective, even if you disagree with them. Validating their feelings can help keep the conversation more constructive.

G: Not every debate can be productive. If the conversation becomes hostile, disrespectful, or unproductive, it may be best to disengage. Your mental and emotional well-being should be a priority. When your opponent goes “low” you go “high”, demonstrate empathy, open-mindedness, and respect in your own communication. Your approach can influence the behavior of others. Changing someone's perspective or level of empathy may not happen in a single conversation. Be patient and open to the possibility of gradual change over time.

Fortunately, my ability to write and post segments of my webcast on instagram is only possible because humans are the only animals with an imagination, which we can employ to help us keep our hearts and minds open. Our self talk or the stories we tell ourselves are often hazy at best, when we realize that a positive byproduct of living in a predominantly capitalist society is that most folk's greed and self interest serves the common good. Like him or not in 2016, Donald Trump effectively marketed himself as the beacon on top of the Capitalist Hill. Today in America, for every mini Trump among us, there must be at least five thousand poor and the affluence of the few supposes the indigence of the many. The affluence of the rich excites the indignation of the poor, who are often both driven by want, prompted by envy and most often culminates in imitation. Yet, our imaginations can keep our hearts and minds optimistic regarding America’s future. I recognize I too am bias, since I continue to choose love over fear - visualizing/imagining an America where every eligible voter (hopefully our better angels) votes in 2024.

By Jose Franco author of “How To Get Better At Things You Don’t Think You’re Bad At By 2020” (March 2019)