Chaminade Alum: RVC Diocese Fighting To Keep Sex Abuse Victims 'Small'

ROCKVILLE CENTRE, NY — Brian Toale said he was a senior at the prestigious all-boys Chaminade High School in Mineola when the sexual abuse happened.

It was the fall of 1970. Toale had joined the radio club the year before. Mr. Frank Lind had replaced the previous moderator.

One day, after a school field trip, Lind lured him alone into the radio club room for a "dare that he said no one else had been able to handle," according to Toale's account, which is now detailed on legal documents. Once in the room, Lind touched Toale’s genitals, took Polaroid photos of Toale performing sex acts, then threatened to humiliate the teen in front of his family and peers if he spoke out, said Toale.

The abuse continued at least once a week for about nine months in the radio club room and a crawl space under the Catholic school, Toale said.

The blackmail worked. Toale was shamed into legal silence for nearly 50 years until 2019 — when he sued the Diocese of Rockville Centre on Long Island under the Child Victims Act. The legislation gave sexual abuse survivors a window to file claims that had exceeded the statute of limitations.

In 2015, Toale had tried to confront the leadership that said had failed him. He sent Chaminade High School a letter with his story, describing his claims, he told Patch.

He told the school how he struggled with addiction, and how the abuse almost cost him his life. The school forwarded the letter to the Office of the Nassau County District Attorney, but the statute of limitations had long expired.

Toale went on to send two more letters, asking not for money or legal actions, but for acknowledgement of the pain he suffered. Chaminade never responded.

In his letter, Toale described his life after the alleged abuse as “an agonizing ordeal of self-hatred, shame, disappointment and failure.” He described the impact the trauma has had on his loved ones. He described the amount of emotional work it took him to finally share his story after decades of silence.

“I find it hard to conceive how this could ever be made right, and I be made whole again,” Toale wrote in 2016. “What happened to me cannot be undone, nor can the life I might have had be given back to me and my family. I do know, however, that the institutions that allowed this to occur must somehow take responsibility for it now.”

Lind did not live long enough to hear Toale finally speak out in neither his attempt directly to the school, nor via his 2019 lawsuit. He died in 1991.

The Legal Battle

Toale, now 68, along with more than 500 people who claim to have been abused by a diocese employee, believed that after decades of suffering and dealing with trauma, justice would finally prevail. But two years later, the diocese has yet to settle any case filed under the victims act, leaving people like Toale on edge, and waiting.

"They're fighting tooth and nail to keep us small as possible," said Toale.

The Diocese of Rockville Centre declared bankruptcy Oct. 1, 2020. Bishop John O. Barres said in a written statement on the bankruptcy claim that the diocese “could not continue to carry out its spiritual, charitable and educational missions while also having to shoulder the increasingly heavy burden of litigation expenses associated with these cases.”

Sean P. Dolan, director of communications for the diocese, told Patch earlier this month that mediation is currently ongoing.

“The Diocese is working in good faith to conclude the bankruptcy case as quickly as possible for the sake of everyone involved in a way that treats the survivors of abuse as fairly as possible, and not simply based on who filed lawsuits first,” he said.

For people like Toale, the delay has taken a toll on their personal lives.

A Life 'Never Thought' Possible

After graduating from Chaminade, Toale was unable to keep a job. He tried to join the military, but was dishonorably discharged soon thereafter. He struggled to cope with his abuse. It affected his marriage, and eventually divorced. Toale developed a drug addiction.

Toale eventually found a 12-step program, went to therapy, converted to Judaism, and regained control over his life. He later found steady work with Canon. And he became heavily involved in advocacy work, helping others in similar situations. For two years, Toale volunteered with the Manhattan location of S.N.A.P. (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests). He appeared in campaigns for nonprofit advocacy group Safe Horizon, and even lobbied for the Child Victims Act to be signed in to legislation.

Today, he lives a life he "never thought" was possible, due to his life's struggles. For example, after his divorce, he believed his relationship with his daughter would be forever strained.

But today, he regularly sees his 36-year-old daughter, and babysits for his 5-year-old grandson.

"We are really close," he said. "All of that stuff is nothing I thought I was going to end up having. What I had to lose was so much more than I'd ever had before."

But two years after suing the diocese, he began to resent his advocacy work, and realized he needed to scale back.

"I was getting pretty burned out," he said. " My own peace of mind and recovery, I felt, were kind of slipping. I needed to take care of myself."

Toale retired on New Year's Day last year and is now taking a sabbatical from facilitating S.N.A.P meetings. He's also joined Alcoholics Anonymous.

This past winter, he was diagnosed with severe heart failure — something he may not have found if he continued advocacy work.

"It was a surprise because I have no symptoms," Toale said. "If I hadn't done what I did, to get sober and take care of myself, I probably would have freaked out."

For his part, Toale said the church as a whole “is sitting on what they knew and when they knew it,” referring to sex abuse allegations. He said the church has also resisted publishing information on accused clergy and lay people.

Compared to other dioceses and Archdiocese in New York, Rockville Centre has taken a combative approach to battle the lawsuits, according to attorneys representing the victims alleging sexual abuse.

“They have come up with several counter lawsuits to throw the CVA (Child Victims Act) out," said Toale. "They have done some intimidation tactics to demand that survivors not be able to file their suits anonymously.”

The Diocese of Rockville Centre motioned to dismiss Toale’s lawsuit, arguing he and his co-plaintiff could have “asserted their claims in a timely manner.” A judge rejected the motion.

In 2020, a state court judge rejected the Diocese of Rockville Centre’s plea to dismiss cases against them under the Child Victims Act on the grounds that the law is unconstitutional.

The diocese argued the time extension violated its right to due process.

In a statement to Patch regarding Toale's case, the Dolan stated that: "“The diocese does not comment on matters in litigation.”

In 2021, it also sold its office in Rockville Centre, in efforts to financially support the lawsuits, the diocese said.

But for Toale, these actions are only stunts from the diocese to keep up a positive reputation.

"There were some things like selling property or closing down their office that were meant to show the public that, 'We're doing everything we can,' said Toale. "That kind of dug into my side. Some people will believe that you have the best interests of the survivors in mind. But history tells us differently."

Chaminade High School didn't respond to multiple requests seeking comment.