A Bad Week, (Partially) Fixed By a Meltdown

There can be tears. There can be yelling. Sometimes, there is just a throw-down-on-the-floor, kicking, screaming full-fledged meltdown. As a mother, I’ve seen it all. Tantrums come in all shapes and sizes. And, this past week, it wasn’t the 6-year-old son. It wasn’t even the 3-year-old daughter. It was mommy. It was a full-on mommy meltdown.

This past week has put my motherhood to the test. It was just one of those weeks. I have numerous projects going on at work; my husband has started a new job that we are all still adapting to as a family and I have yet to nail down his varying hours that we are not alerted to until the Friday of the week he begins working, which is enough to make a planning OCD wife lose her mind.

I have three major home and school projects coming up that run in back-to-back weeks, for three straight weeks, for which I am the only chairman for one. Between making phone calls, gathering emails and promoting the event, I’m exhausted on the first one alone and alarmingly behind on the other two.

I am in the process of returning our football equipment from fall sports and mapping out our team for basketball — winter sports are just around the corner. I need to organize the house and have been trying to do one major project per week to get it clean in time for the major holiday party we host come Dec. 10

I haven’t remotely processed Thanksgiving or Christmas plans, since I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of my nephew, my sister’s first child. As soon as I get the call (she’s due Thanksgiving Day), I am jetting down to Virginia to be there for her.

Last week added the wonderful bonuses of my alma mater crumbling to the moral equivalent of the ground, so I bawled my way through half the week and most of Saturday’s football game. I was in the midst of a major battle with my best friend, and did I mention my son came home sick Thursday after school and has been running a fever of 102 since?

Yes, it was the week to end all weeks. And, by its end, I was a puddle of mess. I was beyond stressed out, tired, frustrated and at the end of my rope. I think it took me totally breaking down in order to be able to build back up.

After a full on meltdown, crying fit included, I took a personal day, rested for about five minutes and am back at it. I’m trying to take this week on with a deep breath, a fresh outlook and an ounce of courage.

Most of the things that happened last week aren’t over. And, I still have much to accomplish. But, I got myself into these projects, I have to focus and get myself through them, too.

Lots of folks ask how I do it? How am I juggling a full-time job, two kids, coaching, cleaning, cooking, Home and School, marriage, friends, family, volunteering, and, well … life? Well, the truth is, this is how. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I have meltdowns, like I’m a 2-year-old. Sometimes I just have a tantrum, cry, scream and have to get it all out. Then, I wake up and try to do it all over again.

I’m not sure why I take so much on at a time. I don’t know why, but I do know I get some sort of twisted pride out of getting it all done. In order to feel accomplished, I need to do it all. How else am I going to have it all?

In the meantime, if you see a busy mom trying to juggle too much at once, try not to judge her. Cart past her in the Walmart aisles and try not to think less of her in sweat pants and untidy hair. She is working very hard, and is likely very tired. She is possibly me. So please, be kind.