Forget the flying car — Where the heck is the cloning machine?

I don’t envy teachers. I can barely take care of two kids that are mine, let alone an entire classroom full of children. They have hard jobs, and I can’t imagine with my patience level that I could ever accomplish what they do in a single day.

But, there is one thing I am a bit jealous about in the world of teachers. When they are sick, their boss calls in a substitute. That’s what I need right now, a substitute.

I’ve always said that one of the hardest parts of my job is that, even if I am sick or go on a vacation, news is still happening. News doesn’t take a break for my illness. So if I miss a single day, I generally pay twice for it, working ahead before I leave and catching up from behind when I return.

Like a professional football player, I wish my coach could call in a sub. And, while work is hard enough to catch up on, being a mom is even harder. In my wildest of fantasies, I wish someone could call me in a mom substitute right now.

As I type this from my bed, with a 102-degree fever, tossing my cookies every two hours on the clock, I am really wishing my mommy sub could step in. I am in all kinds of pain, aching muscles, pounding headache, sick to my stomach … and all I can think about is who is going to get my kids dressed and to school? Who will step in if I don’t get to volunteer today at my son’s Valentine’s Day party? Who will walk the dog? Forget about the laundry piling up, the house getting dirtier by the minute and my work stacking up by the second. I just wish someone could be doing all that work for me today.

I think moms, sick or not, have always longed to clone themselves. I wear a lot of hats. I am a busy girl. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend. I am a mommy, a wife and a boss. I’d love it if there were 10 of me, so I could always give 100 percent to each and every role I play.

Wouldn’t it be great? There’d be one of me just buzzing around cleaning all day. Another one of me would be dedicated just to the kids. One of me would be an amazing cook and always make my family spectacular meals. Another would devote all her time to my husband. One of me could just focus on my job. Another would handle all family drama.

Maybe I am getting to a dehydrated delirious state, but that’s my dream. I’m sure, if she lived closer, my own mommy could step in when I’m sick and do all of those things. Alas, she is more than a five hour drive away. My mommy sub is too far away.

Instead, I’ll lie here trying to recover, wishing my coach could call in the sub. Unfortunately, all my work will be here when I “return” to my real life.