"The Sunday Political Brunch" -- Christmas Edition 2015

Dr. MArk Curtis, Ed.D., is an internationally political analyst at www.MarkCurtisMedia.com

(Charleston, West Virginia) – Let’s have some fun, and maybe a few laughs this week. It’s time to hand out some Christmas presents to our crop of presidential candidates. We’ll let former President George W. Bush (photo above) deliver our “Golden Turkey” gifts! Let’s “brunch” on that this week:

“HC, Phone Home” – For former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, a new iPhone-6. Ok that was too easy, but the phone does allow multiple email accounts all in one phone. I have five accounts in my iPhone, so surely she can manage at least her two!

“Welcome Wagon Membership” – For Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, a lifetime membership in “Welcome Wagon, USA!” Ok, that was too easy, too! Still, Trump offended a lot of Mexicans and Muslims (many already in this country legally), and any outside the borders who may not even be eligible. The reality is Trump will need many Hispanic votes, (many of which come from moderate-to-conservative voters), and he might just win the White House.

“My Dinner with Larry” – We will set up a dinner-theatre between Senator Bernie Sanders, and comedian Larry David. David does a spot-on, hysterical impersonation of Sanders on “Saturday Night Live!” I would love to see David “in-character” with Sanders in a public setting. We could sell tickets; put them on tour; and, retire the national debt!

“Jeb Clampett, Perhaps?” – For former Governor Jeb Bush (R-FL), we award him a new last name. It’s clear that “Bush Fatigue” has helped take him from the top of Republican presidential preference polls, the near the bottom. Jeb Clampett sounds a lot like “Jed Clampett” the beloved patriarch of the “Beverly Hillbillies” played by the late Buddy Ebsen. A name change might be the “facelift” the Bush campaign needs.

“I Was Mayor of… Oh Nevermind!” – For former Governor Martin O’Malley (D-MD), we wish an “issue” for a Christmas gift! He struggled in Saturday night’s debate. He used to differentiate himself as a candidate by touting his role as mayor of a major U.S. city – Baltimore. That was a unique bragging right, until the city blew up in racial strife earlier this year. Despite all the good he did as mayor (and in fairness he was nowhere near the office when the recent meltdown happened), you get tarred with “guilt by association.” I still say, he’s Hillary Clinton’s VP, but that may be fading, too.

“Green Eggs and Ham!” – For Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), we wish a memorable moment that will prompt people to think of him in a new way. Most folks remember him reading Dr. Seuss during a filibuster for hours on end. He’s surging in the polls now, and has a definite shot at the nomination. Donald Trump may someday call Cruz, “The Grinch Who Stole the White House!”

“A Bridge Too Far” – Gov. Chris Christie may have escaped legal troubles over the shutdown of lanes on New Jersey’s portion of the George Washington Bridge going into New York City, but the controversy won’t go away. “Bridge-gate” as it became known came up in the Republican debate last week (which Christie deftly ignored), and then it came up on “Weekend Update” during “Saturday Night Live.” His poll numbers are edging up slightly, but this issue keeps latching onto his leg like a ball and chain.

“’Ben’ There; Done That” – There are reports that Dr. Ben Carson will have an upheaval in his campaign staff. He needs that. He was challenging for the lead, then plummeted. The noted neurosurgeon needs – pardon the pun – “new blood” in his campaign.

“Gang of One” – Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) has been inching up in the polls, but he still gets pummeled for being a member of the “Gang of Eight” a bipartisan group trying to forge an immigration reform bill. The ad-hoc leader of that group was Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY), one of the most liberal members of the Senate (and, in full disclosure, my former boss). Rubio has been trying to distance himself from the group, so we wish him the proverbial “ten foot pole” under his Christmas tree.

“Ohio Express!” – For Governor John Kasich (R-OH), we wish a present of more personality. Kasich is a competent guy, who brings a ton of experience to the table, including being the architect of the last balanced, bipartisan federal budget. That’s gold! But he’s a dry public speaker, who does not even come close to the bombast of Donald Trump or Ted Cruz, so, he gets little attention which isn’t fair. Santa, give him some more personality and the “gift of gab.”

What gifts would you send the presidential candidates? Just click the comment button on www.MarkCurtisMedia.com.

© 2015, Mark Curtis Media, LLC.

Photo Courtesy: CBS.com