Military Family Receives Overwhelming Support from Neighbors

When the Nelsons moved to Oakton with their three children a little more than five years ago, Tricia felt alone when the U.S. Army deployed her husband to Iraq.

Five years and a baby later, things couldn't be more different.

"I didn't have that instant support net [during my husband's first deployment] you get if you're on a base or in a military community," Tricia said. "Now that I've gotten to know people in this area better, I'm overwhelmed with support."

Her husband, Lt. Col. Tom Nelson, left for a one-year deployment at Camp Eggers in Kabul, Afghanistan, on Oct. 27, and her phone has been ringing off the hook ever since, she said. Neighbors are offering to help with her impending move and babysitting and anything else the Nelsons could possibly need, Tricia said.

"She absolutely deserves it," said Erin Castleberry, a friend and neighbor. "She's one of those people who is always amazing us with how much she can handle. ... We're just happy to help out a little bit."

Tricia is thankful. "A civilian community, if given a chance, can be just as supportive as a military community," Tricia said.

Minutes after her statement, a neighbor yelled from across the street asking whether Tricia needed babysitting help for her 19-month-old son, Landon.

"See? I have the best neighbors," she said, pointing out that, after all, their "big move" is to a house about three streets away from their current home.

Tricia and Tom, married 15 years, have four children: Maddie, 13; Katie, 9; Patton (not named after the famous general), 8; and Landon (definitely named after the famous U.S. soccer player), 19 months.

"When he leaves, I realize how much he does and what roles he plays for our family. Like last night I was tutoring Maddie in algebra, which is something he normally does. I was like, 'Oh, great. Now I have to do this?'" she laughed. "You quickly realize his strengths and my weaknesses."

Tricia tries to keep the children focused on the positive while Tom's away by directing their attention to all the fun things planned for the upcoming weekend or making sure they understand their father's role in the war isn't as dangerous as some. He is part of a Commander's Initiative Group that assesses how the training of Afghans is going.

"They tend to think he's out doing combat in a cave or something," Tricia said. "I try to explain to them he's not really in the security part of things. His job is just not as dangerous."

So far, Tricia and the kids have been able to talk to Tom fairly often using Skype, a video chat program.

Talking to him often is helping to keep her from getting too worried while he's away, something she struggled with on his last deployment.

"I would worry every day that he was going to be car-bombed or something like that," she said. "It's not going to help anything. It just makes you sick. The kids, I think, will experience the deployment as the mom does."

She doesn't want to set that example for her children.

"This time I guess I'm a little stronger than I was last time, and I just want to be positive so the kids won't worry," she said. "If I had advice for other military families, it would be to not let the anxiety creep in and take over."