Cancer Survivor Refocuses from Saving Her Life to Helping Others Share Theirs

It came to her in a dream.

People don’t share stories like they used to, Leah Dobkin says.

The type of stories that infuse wisdom, history and emotion into its audience; the type of stories that pass along values and a family's cardinal virtue.

She wants to teach families how to start telling stories again and how to harvest them — with pen and paper — in legacy letters.

“It helps pass on your values and your ethics and your history and what has shaped you,” she said. “It seems like people are so plugged in … and people aren't passing on their wisdom, which is a real shame.”

“Hopefully, though the passing on of a legacy letter, you share not only your life but some of the struggles and how you overcame them.”

Dobkin is considering updating her own legacy letter, chronicling her recent battle with cancer. She was ready to pull the plug on her dream — legacy letter workshops that were scheduled to start last spring — but it had to be put on the back burner when she was diagnosed with the disease.

“I was diagnosed with uterine cancer, but when they opened me up, they found ovarian cancer, too,” she said. “I really wanted to put my whole heart into (the workshops), and I thought, right now that’s not going to be possible."

She has since defeated cancer.

And now hopes to realize her dream again and venture deep into others wisdom via low-acid argyle paper. She hopes to spark inspiration and insight into people's history and wisdom with three workshops this fall.

"I am graduating from saving my life to helping people share theirs."

"I hope my shiny bald head will shed light that there is life after cancer treatment by encouraging everyone in Milwaukee to write his or her legacy letter.”

'Something I needed to do'

After months of surgery and chemotherapy, Dobkin said she's not really sure what her status is. Remission? Cured? Luckily, it was caught early enough and surgery should have rid Dobkin's body of cancerous cells.

She was chomping at the bit to get started with her new workshop plan, but after the diagnosis, she was forced to cancel three spring workshops.

She said she wouldn’t allow cancer to put her life on hold any longer.

"This is something I need to do now," she said. "Too much wisdom and opportunities for healing are lost forever because we don’t take the time to share our life experiences and family stories with the next generation."

An avid professional and published writer and long-time advocate for the aging, she said combining her two passions to help people share their stories on paper became a dream come true, literally, as the idea and the term legacy letter came to her one night.

"I got all excited when I woke up, I said this is what I need to do with my life," she said.

Excited, she shared her vision with her publisher, but fielded a chuckle.

“I was really embarrassed because I didn’t Google it, because I thought it was this totally original thought. But it’s 3,000 years old,” she said.

The Jewish tradition of legacy letter, also known as ethical wills, is as such, Dobkin explained: After death, a father would pass on his legacy letter to his sons detailing how they should go about living their lives and the family’s values and wisdom. The tradition can be traced back to biblical times, when the prophet Jacob called his sons to his deathbed and verbally shared his ethics and values. Jesus sat down with his apostles and discussed what he wanted them to do, Dobkin added.

“These are very focused letters — passing on your values, not just your valuables."

The tradition has since evolved and Dobkin said it makes more sense for family’s to share their letters while they are still alive and well. Legacy letters range in length from one paragraph to 14-page documents to books, in some cases. The idea is to share your experiences with loved ones — and that doesn't just mean family member.

"It could be a favorite professor or teacher or a friend. If you’re on the planet and you have someone that loves you, you should write a legacy letter," she said.

Dobkin will offer two of her three fall workshops to Froedtert Hospital cancer patients for free — an idea sparked by her own bout with cancer.

"I really wanted to share this with them," she said. "As a writer, you know putting pen to paper can be healing. I want to show them that there is life after cancer treatments."

Dobkin's Froedtert Hospital workshops run on Oct 27 from 9 a.m. to noon, and Nov. 2 from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. The workshops are $35 for the public.

Combining her life's passions

Dobkin moved to Shorewood in 2005, after bouncing around Wisconsin, Washington D.C., and Costa Rica, where her passion for writing matured. Her husband makes a living buying duplexes, renovating them and then selling them or renting them out. She said he sensed something was wrong in the market and decided Costa Rica would be as good a spot as any to continue flipping homes for profit.

There, she pitched an article to a publisher about retirees moving to Costa Rica.

“I thought, this is fun,” she said of the start of her writing career.

There, she stumbled upon a public library in the jungle, after meeting a retiree running the facility.

"I ended up writing that story up and selling it and next thing you know, I was just perpetually writing stories about really cool people or communities or businesses," she said.

Dobkin is the author of "Soul of the Port," a book about the history and evolution of the Port of Milwaukee, and a handful of other books. She has made a good living and is good at it.

But as she nurtured her deep love for writing for more than half a decade she felt compelled to return to her other long-time calling of being an advocate for the aging. She spent a decade in the aging field with the American Association of Retired Persons, and many other years consulting for the National Council on Aging and working with business to become more elder-friendly.

“I really have a passion for what I do,” she said.

So, combining her two passions in life became a dream and, shortly after, a reality.

Dobkin says workshops like hers have been sprouting up all the country, but she doesn’t plan on using anyone’s template and working off her own experience; writing her own curriculum.

"The idea is that when you write your legacy letter, your not just writing your live, but your parents and their parents,” she said. “I’ll be updating mine very soon.”