Schools

Annie's Story: How Bullying Takes Its Toll

Years of seeing her son bullied leaves her wondering whether her son's antagonists are aware of the long-term consequences of their actions.

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WAUKESHA, WI — A Waukesha mother said bullying encountered by her son in elementary school led to health problems for him, legal problems for her, and a lengthy recovery period that leaves her wondering whether her son's antagonists are aware of the consequences of their actions.

Annie is the mother of a 16-year-old Waukesha student who now attends private school. She told Patch her son went through several years of bullying as a public-school elementary student. He struggled in the midst of his parents' divorce, and began to struggle with his feelings, she said.

"He began to use food as a way to comfort himself, so he began to gain a bit of weight," she said. "Nothing too alarming to his doctor. I frequently reminded him that he is a great kid no matter what his size and that as he grows up he will lose much of it."

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Annie acknowledged that many children go through awkward stages during their childhood. She showed her son a photo of herself to help him understand that what he was going through was actually a common stage. Annie said the ridicule began to affect him more seriously.

"Many days he came home with tears from the things people would say and do to him at school and on the way home," Annie told Patch. "It ended up affecting his chances to learn along with the rest of the kids. If some of those bullies were in a class of his he would refuse to go in class."

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Annie said the pattern of bullying started causing her son to show up late to class - or not at all. "[There were] so many I couldn't afford I ended up having two warrants for arrest. I was picked up twice on these warrants," she said. "Once I wrote the judge explaining the truancies were due to bullying and not my lack of getting my son to school. He then dropped remaining citations. I didn't have the money to pay these fines."

The bullying also caused her son to refuse to eat lunch, due to classmates subjecting him to ridicule. Annie said other students would make pig noises at him when he tried to eat. "My son then began cutting himself or speaking of suicide often. I did have numerous meetings with my son's teachers and principal," she said.

"I eventually removed him from public schools simply due to the fact my son was no longer learning anything, due to his anger towards these individuals," she said. "Now him being 16, he has grown a lot and lost the weight. Barely any of those kids even recognize him now."

Annie says her son continues to struggle with self-esteem and carries anger about his elementary school days.

"I honestly don't think these kids understand the magnitude of their hurtful behavior," Annie told Patch. "The depth of their actions and words to make themselves seem cool or better than the kids they bully."

Waukesha Patch reached out to the Waukesha School District for information related to to anti-bullying programs and activities, and is awaiting a response.

You can find the District's policy on bullying here.

Annie's last name and her son's name have been left out of this article because of the sensitive nature of this story.

The Menace Of Bullies: Patch Advocacy Reporting Project

As part of a national reporting project, Patch has been looking at society's roles and responsibilities in bullying and a child's unthinkable decision to end their own life in hopes we might offer solutions that save lives.
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