Top Ten Santa Wish List 2023

Okay, this is yet another version of the same Christmas column I’ve written for the last 20-years or so. And what’s more traditional than the Holidays, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” a do-it-yourself orthodontic scam going el Busto, and a former U.S. president unable to break 90 on the golf course or on a list of felony charges?

But it doesn’t seem long ago that Christmas held more wonder than I could manage. And the wonder is still there…when you’re looking for it.

Don’t know about you, but back in The Day, beginning weeks before December 25, I used to get so excited I couldn’t sleep and when I finally closed my eyes, I couldn’t wait to wake up just to see the Christmas tree proudly standing in our living room. And things haven’t changed that much, except the only tree I have standing these days looks like a Charlie Brown/Grinch hybrid. And it’s been a year and a half since I hung up the drill, the shield, and the gown; and just like I’d regard the retired patients who told me they were busier than ever, my friends and family now think I’m a liar too.

And maybe I’m missing dentistry, but not so fast my friend! I’m still in dentistry, just not doing the dirty work. Consulting, mentoring high school kids, establishing Invisalign study clubs, writing and recruiting content for a professional journal, sharing quotes and video commentaries for dental practices and social media Monday through Friday, and walking 6-miles per day consume serious time. One of my 2022 goals was to hit golf balls every day on my way to becoming a scratch golfer. To date, I’m more of an occasional golfer who occasionally scratches.

The cool thing about being a dentist, active or retired, is the opportunity to use your experience and relationships with people you see as friends and family, to keep on being productive, and making a difference for others. And it’s magical that sharing a depth of experiences (especially, with young people interested in a health science career) can transform clueless mistakes made along the way into teaching opportunities.

So, on a less serious and pontificating note, but without further delay, I give you my annual Top Ten Santa Wish List, almost totally devoid of sarcastic, un-Christmas-like shots at Southern Cal Edison (maybe next year), Kanye, Michael Bolton, and you-know-who:

#10: Dental drills become quieter than a USC Football Coach Lincoln Riley keynote on defense.

#9: The lights are on, and Southern Cal Edison regains consciousness and a conscience.

#8: Suddenly, without warning, Clarence Thomas asks a question. And #45 says, “I’m sorry.” (He is)

#7: Everyone flosses! Dental Hygienists experience joy.

#6: Random acts of kindness replace all random acts of hate.

#5: Research finally shows chorizo burritos with everything eliminate tooth decay.

#4: Dental impression materials begin tasting just like chocolate chip gelato.

#3: Vladimir Putin suffers a fatal case of crabs and self-medicates with Clorox.

#2: Patients are required to show digital proof of a successful do-it-yourself colonoscopy to qualify for do-it yourself orthodontics…on another planet…

And (drumroll)…#1: Everyone within six degrees of separation and beyond has a healthy Holiday, feels like a kid again, and successfully looks and listens for peace, prosperity, and fulfillment in 2024.

Merry Christmas!