Walking the Land

So, back when I was attempting to pull off a great escape from dental school and play the lead in my own USC Miracle on 34th Street*, Kung Fu debuted on TV. The star was David Carradine, playing the role of Kwai Chang Caine.

Kwai Chang walked the land every week attempting to mind his own business while having a nose for unfairness, injustice, and all-around crummy behavior. Kwai Chang’s priestly countenance served him well in attempting to first find understanding, appreciation, and peaceful solutions for any real or potential conflict. But at the end of the show, it was obvious the bad guys were idiots and deserved a solid Kung Fu butt-kicking.

When I was a dental student, I wanted to be Kwai Chang Caine. I wanted to be the little grasshopper-ish student who first brought a peaceful solution to every regrettable experience sparked by an anti-social instructor committed to breaking me down (in front of a patient) and building me up in his own image. And that’s right, “his image.” Back in the 70s, there were no female dental school instructors and in my class of 120 students, only two women. And to make matters worse, many instructors thought white belts and white shoes were a very cool look. And in my mind’s eye, Kwai Chang’s look seemed much cooler and way more comfortable.

I even used to dream about one special instructor, a little guy who had it in for me. And just to be clear, I couldn’t even spell paranoia phonetically back then. But why is it that the bad dreams always keep coming back. I have one dream, based on real life, where I know my car will be stolen even as I’m parking it. I have other serial dreams too. There’s the dream where I can’t make a layup; another one where all I can do is double fault on the tennis court, and yet another where I can’t find a spot to tee it up on the first hole at Pebble Beach. Ugh, dental school can really mess you up!

And there’s one dream I unsuccessfully tried to produce, direct, write, and edit. It was the one where I reasoned with my little #1 clinical nemesis, negotiated him peacefully into an elevator, exercised my Kung Fu skills, and left by way of the parking lot, Doctor of Dental Surgery paper in hand and on my way to walking the land…by way of Jefferson Blvd.

Tell you the truth, I’m glad none of those dreams were reality-based (I had no issues teeing it up at Pebble), except for the theft of my (dangerous at any speed) ‘65 Chevy Corvair. But now, since the sale of my dental practice, founded during the Carter Administration, I walk the land just like Kwai Chang Caine every day. It’s like I’m the missionary who never leaves Pasadena. I empathize, especially, with all the dog owners I see on the trail, who plastic bag in hand are also on a mission…to keep Spot from leaving a trail of his own.

I’m a retired dentist, so I study the oncoming pedestrian traffic in search of smiles. And even though I post quotes M-F to my Invisalign community and beyond, sometimes my video commentaries seem to support the ideal, as opposed to my authentic inner thoughts. Walt Whitman once said, “Be curious, not judgmental.” I ask, why are the two behaviors mutually exclusive?

When I’ve walked down Pasadena’s Oak Knoll Avenue, having just left Peet’s Coffee and a Havanna Cappuccino, wearing a USC hoodie and a charismatic smile on a beautiful fall morning, I confess that I’ve been curious AND judgmental.

When I offer up a warm beaming orthodontic masterpiece smile, like any other red-blooded Pasadenan, I have some expectations. Like a returned smile.

If all I get in response is a thousand-yard stare or a stink eye from oncoming walkers, I’m slightly curious about the “Why” (I know I brushed my teeth.) But too often, I’ve been quickdraw judgmental (even though I’ve had no idea what’s been going inside someone else’s life.) To paraphrase Andy Rooney, maybe the average dog IS nicer than the average person. And I don’t wannabe average. And maybe that’s why, on the street, dogs get to lead while enjoying excellent customer service. And when you read an hour each day and walk at least 6-miles, you think about stuff like this, and work on not being so judgmental.

So lately, I’ve been walking and smiling and saying “Good morning” without expectations, and it feels good.

But as I walk the land, just like Kwai Chang Caine, looking both ways as I cross the street, I type ideas into my phone, rehearse the conversations I’ll have or should’ve had, and keep smilin’.

The Kung Fu lessons are on hold.

*USC School of Dentistry is located at 935 W 34st Street, Los Angeles, CA