Moms Talk: Mommy, Who is Osama bin Laden?

There is always going to be bad news on TV, radio, etc. That's what makes news "newsy," right?

But the last couple of weeks seem to have been particularly rough: A homeless man shotDublin officer; a child in Pleasanton;  a child molester from Livermore was on TV; and, of course, the killing of Osama bin Laden by U.S. forces.

Even if you manage to hide such headlines from your kids at home, once they're in school topics as big as Osama or 9/11 are bound to come up. So we asked our Moms Council members how they were feeling about sharing bad news with their kids.

Deborah May: I’ve never been one to shelter the kids from the evils and horrors in the world.  By ages 3 and 5 they knew about terrorists, kidnappers, car accidents and recessions.   They recently followed the search for the kidnapped Patterson boy, Juliani Cardenas, a few months ago, and they know how that ended.  

Why do I expose them so early?  Partly to provide some cautionary tales, and partly to make them understand they are fortunate.  Yes, they have never known a world without war, but they also have never experienced any of the horrors or sacrifices of war first hand.  They are lucky. 

We often fail to recognize how much kids already know.  They are sponges; they hear things, and their little minds process away silently.  I would much rather have a fact-based, open discussion with my kids about even terrible events than have them wonder, apply half-truths and feel fearful.  

Experts say communication is key to a healthy parent-teenager relationship.  Why not start while they are young?

Kathleen Schoening: My daughter is 4 and does not understand not true evil.  She does not understand what Osama bin Laden was and what he stood for.

 I tried the other night to explain what bad guys were when the announcement of Osama Bin Laden’s death came on.  Emma asked if Osama is bad like, "When so and so pushed someone in class?"  In a 4-year-old's mind that is what "bad" stands for. 

 How can I explain that just because Osama Bin Laden is dead does not mean terrorism is over, and in fact, in some ways it is more intensified? Another hated leader will arise with a new name.  To be an American, in some parts of the world, could mean death.  How can I explain that to our sweet innocent daughter?

 How can I explain that the world is not just of princes and princesses and that evil lurks around the corner when you least expect it?  I cannot shield her from all the ills of the world. I want her to have faith in God because that will be her shield.

 I remembered when 9/11 happened as I was driving across the Benicia Bridge on the way to work.  I commuted to a management job at the time next to Travis Air Force Base.  I managed people whose families were also immediately deployed, not knowing when they would return.  I remember thinking, we just have to keep focused on what we had to do in business because to do anything differently would mean that Osama had claimed more victims.  More victims meant more victory for Osama and that was not going to happen.

 A song comes to memory now by Alan Jackson titled Where Were You? some of the lyrics still haunt me:

“Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters?”

 Someday Emma will know the whole story.

Do you like to share parenting tips and tricks?  Then join the Moms Council! Email Kari Hulac at kari@patch.com. Is there a topic you'd like us to tackle? Let us know via email or in the comments below.