Ling Murray Speaks About Daughter's Death

Note: The following statement was addressed to the courts, and is transcribed in full.

On Dec. 1, 2010, my 2-year-old daughter, Calli, was robbed of her life. She didn’t have time to experience much in her short life. I think about my daughter all of the time. I can never forget the happiness Calli brought to us, and I can’t stand here today, to face the person who killed by daughter and caused me so much suffering. Therefore, I wrote down what I felt in this tragic experience, and have asked David Chung to read it for me.

Actually, simple words cannot describe the devastation to our family that December night. It turned our life from sunshine into darkness, and we can’t find our way out.

After the defendant hit us, I was in a deep coma for eight days. When I woke up from the coma for the first time, I could only move my head and right hand. My left arm and both legs gave me endless pain, but my first thought was that I wanted to see my daughter, and the cold hard tact I was told, was that Calli had died. I could only lie on the bed and let the tears run down my face. I felt, and still feel, that my heart was torn apart. I asked my husband, “why did you save me? I would rather die with Calli.” I just can’t believe that she was taken from us. The one last time I caw Calli, she was lying in her coffin, cold and lifeless. That is a picture that I cannot erase from my mind.

I was in Memorial Hospital for 28 days. I had a total of seven surgeries. I am so grateful to all the doctors and nurses who were there with me at that time. When I was lying in the hospital bed day and night I was thinking Calli must be alone and lonely. There was no one with her, and no one to take care of her wherever she was. Sometimes I felt I was in the middle of a nightmare. I struggled to wake up and see Calli next to me as usual. During that time in the hospital, I had to battle both the despair of the loss of Calli and the painful suffering of my own injuries.

During the time I was in the hospital and afterwards in recovery, my family has been in turmoil. My husband could not take a job offer because he had to stay with me all of the time. He also needed to take care of our 15-year-old son. Moreover, he drove our relatives back and forth to the hospital, and later to our home for them to help take care of me. The expenses from this have brought so much financial hardship to our family.

The summary of my injuries from the car accident are as following:

My left leg had a shattered tibial plateau — it requires nine screws and one plate, plus a bone graft to repair it. Today the nine screws and one steel plate are still in my left leg.

My Pelvis was shattered. It needed an external fixator, and 2-4-inch screws to secure it. The screws were later removed.

My left arm had a compound fracture on the humerus. It took 23 screws and two plates initially. Later on, doctors surgically removed seven screws and one plate, and the remaining 16 screws and one plate will be removed once my rehab program has progressed.

My right leg had a torn lateral tendon, torn ACL, torn PLC tendon and it’s all been surgically repaired.

All these injuries have required intensive rehab programs and the endurance of almost unbearable pain. The current rehab program includes three days a week of physical therapy, two days of pool therapy and two days of massage.

I have regained the ability to slowly start moving both of my legs and my left arm. The doctors, nurses, my parents, my husband and my son all have encouraged me to stay strong and fight for recovery. I know they are all doing their best to make me better during the numerous surgeries, and many physical therapy sessions. I appreciate all their kindness and efforts to carry me through this very bad time. But for a middle-aged woman like me, it is hard for me to use any language to express my sorrow still, for the loss of my young daughter, and my ability to move as a normal person.

Every time when I try to move my left arm and left leg, I feel the screws inside my arm and legs. I can’t see what is in the future for this broken body, and how I am going to move on from here.

During the first few months after the accident, my mother was with me in the hospital most of the time. My father, my two aunts, my sister and my cousins all traveled back and forth from San Jose to the hospital and to my home in Petaluma, to help care for me and to help ease my anguish over the loss of my daughter and my own physical pain and disability.

On March 10. 2011, I finally was discharged from the hospital and moved back to my home. I was so excited about coming home but I was also frightened to see everything in there. The moment I stepped into the front door, I could only hold my husband. We both were crying very hard. All of our family and friends were standing around us and crying too. It was difficult for me to restart my life again, from trying to moving around the house and starting to do some housework. I take a shower and sit down in a chair with one arm, and two legs with pain. I could not bend very well. I walk slowly and awkwardly too.

Friends and relatives ask me to seek therapy, but I know no one can cure the pain that stays deep inside my heart.

When I am with my grown-up son, I have to hide my sadness, and try to put on a smiling face in front of him every day. Every time people ask me how I’m doing, I always tell them I am alright, but only I know my heart is dead and broken.

Everyday, I live with the memory of the time I spent with Calli. In her room, I have kept all of her pictures, her toys, and her clothes in the same place as if she were still alive. I routinely go to her room, fix up her bed, and tell her I love her and that I miss her so much. I always ask her “when are you going to come home to see mommy?

Sometimes I spend all day in her room so I can feel Calli is with me. I can almost her sweet, little girl laugh. Every night at bedtime, I pray for God to let me sleep all through the night, so I can have a long dream about Calli.

I really work very hard every day for my physical therapy. I have endured a lot of pain in my body, and the emotional disappointment at the slow improvement at every stage of relearning to use my body. But I told myself, I must stay strong for my husband and my son, to regain as much physical strength as I can, but I really don’t know how much further I can push myself.

The impact caused the severe damage to my left arm. I can’t lift anything more than four pounds. Both of my legs are not in good enough condition to take a long walk. I usually just take about a 10 minute walk around the block of my house. I am unbalanced most of the time even just to make a small meal for myself. I can only stand long enough to put the food on the stove, and then sit down to wait for the meal to be cooked.

Other than the loss of normal function of my arms and legs, the most of my concern is my broken pelvis. My husband and I have wanted to have another child, to fulfill our dream to have another little girl. At this time, I just don’t know if that is possible.

My daughter Calli was born on Christmas. Christmas has always been a big event in our family, as we celebrated both Christmas and Calli’s birthday. And now, in this coming Christmas, we have no more celebration for her birthday or the holiday. Instead, we have only sorrow and crying.

For a direct victim like me, I have to deal daily with all the bodily and emotional pain this tragedy has brought to my family and me. It was all caused by the defendant’s behavior. She killed my daughter, and burdened my family both physically and financially.

We are all equal in the eyes of justice and the law. The person who killed my daughter, and caused all this harm to my family and me — this person should receive punishment for her wrongdoing.

I urge your honor to sentence the defendant to serve a minimum of one year in jail. I believe the justice requires the minimum sentence. After all, she killed the sweetest little girl. This person has sentenced me for a lifetime of grief for the loss of my daughter and the pain and suffering of my own injuries. She has given a life sentence to my husband and son and all our family for the loss of Calli.

You honor, thank you for taking time to listen to my letter, and I hope all the words from the bottom of my heart have been heard.

Editor's note: Kaitlyn Dunaway, 19,was convicted Nov. 16 of misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter. She was sentenced to 115 days of home confinement and five days in jail, which she will serve after Christmas. .