Humor: Grade These Emails from Santa Cruz City School Officials

If they weren't in charge of teaching kids and in one case, drawing the highest salary in the district, maybe we could ignore their written errors...

But what do you think of the grammar and usage in emails regarding the firing of Santa Cruz High School baseball coach George Arnott? 

Content-wise, a lot of people feel the decision is already made and the officials aren't responsive to the community. We aren't judging that here. This is strictly a look at the form, not the substance of the missives.

Here's Board Vice President Cynthia Hawthorne, responding to a charge that Superintendent Gary Bloom based the decision on firing coach George Arnott on a complaint from a friend and didn't survey a wider spectrum of parents, including the 500 who signed a petition to support Arnott.

Mr. Duffy,

I have read every email and listened to every voicemail on this issue with respect. I listened with an open mind to every speaker in public comment.

But I need to let you know that you have crossed a line here that is unacceptable.

Clumsy attempts to garner Trustee support by attacking the professional reputations of others misses the mark.

Mr. Arnott's contract has not been renewed. 

Board leadership in response to requests by community members worked with Administration and HR to afford Mr  Argot  the opportunity to return to the team, and he declined the offer. 

And this " scorched earth" approach to elicit Trustee support does not work.

- Cynthia

Cynthia Hawthorne

Vice- President

Santa Cruz City Schools

cynthia.sccs@baymoon.com

Critique: Major points off for confusing Arnott's name with the movie that won the Oscar last year!  That would be a big fail in some courses. She also gets points off for hyphenating Vice President and capitalizing Administration and Trustee. Titles are only capitalized when attached to the names, such as Vice President Dan Quayle. Then, she wrote "clumsy attempts" with "misses the mark." Plural goes with plural.

Here's Superintendent Gary Bloom, who earns $157,000 a year, a number that was backed here by Hawthorne:

Dear Ms. Quick,

Thank you once again for sharing your input with us.  George's "counterproposal" was unacceptable to the district and he will not be returning to the SCCS baseball in the 2013-14 school year. 

I hope that you will recognize that we did make a good faith effort to bring George back into the program.  However, our attempt to reach an acceptable resolution with George has failed and we are moving on. 

I know that you are unhappy with this situation.  However, if you are truly interested in serving the best interests of the players and the team at this point, I would hope that you would turn your attention to helping us to recruit and support a new coach.  Despite rumors to the contrary, the position is open, and no one has an inside track.  None of us in the district have any knowledge of the individual rumored to have already been selected for the position. 

There will be opportunities for parent input in the selection process.  I hope that you will support us as we recruit a new coach, and that you will help us to insure a good season for SCHS baseball.

Gary Bloom

Superintendent

Santa Cruz City Schools

405 Old San Jose Road

Soquel, CA 95073

831.429.3410 x220

www.sccs.santacruz.k12.ca.us

Critique: Maybe it takes an English teacher to spot the errors. Keep in mind, none is short for no one and is singular. For example, correct usage would be none of us has any idea how to run a school, not none of us have any idea how to run a school (although some argue the distinction is no longer necessary). Also, in most usage guides, insure is reserved only for insurance policies. Ensure is used to make certain something happens. 

My high school English teacher would have taken points off. Granted, though, these are emails, so people tend to take them less seriously. At least they didn't use email constructions such as imho, lmao, or wtf.