'Don't Be A Monster' During October's Bullying Prevention Month

ACROSS COLORADO — We hope you’ve noticed over the past year that we’ve been focusing on bullying and cyberbullying, a confounding national crisis that turns youths’ lives upside down with unimaginable angst and dread, sometimes with deadly consequences. With each story, we’ve heard poignant stories from Patch readers in Colorado and others who were bullied and overcame it, but also many who continue to struggle with the damage done by bullies to their self-esteem.

Many common threads emerged in emails from our readers: Teachers and other educators have suggested everything from first-period decompression time to classroom contracts with students on how they’re expected to treat one another. But for all the readers who said schools need to do more to foster an anti-bullying culture, as many said parents should talk more with their kids about bullying and keep closer track on their social media habits.

And in a loud chorus, they said Americans need to stop wringing their hands and work at all levels to create a world safe from bullying.

That’s one of the purposes of National Bullying Prevention Month, observed annually during October to bring attention to the problem and involve people in Colorado and nationwide in a conversation on how to create a world safe from bullying.

No Place For Hate: ACLU Partners with Colorado Schools

For ten years, the Mountain-States chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union has partnered with more than 120 schools and close to 500,000 students in Colorado and Wyoming have committed to creating schools that are "No Place for Hate."

The ACLU program is designed to "rally an entire school around the goal of creating a welcoming community committed to stopping all forms of bias and bullying."

Colorado passed strong anti-cyberbullying legislation in 2015, named “Kiana Arellano’s Law” after a Highlands Ranch teen who attempted suicide after being cyberbullied. Kiana once a cheerleader, was left paraplegic and unable to speak.

Denver Public Schools addresses the vulnerabilities of students who are LGBT with 72 Gay Straight Alliance or Ally Clubs in DPS schools, said DPS spokesman Will Jones.

But there are always a new crop of young students who find bullying, especially online, attractive.

Denver's school community started the year with tragedy when Jamel Myles, 9, a 4th grader at Shoemaker Elementary took his own life because he was bullied during the first days of school for saying he was gay. He told his sisters other students had told him he should kill himself.

Related: Bullied To Death: Denver Boy, 9, Kills Self After Coming Out

DPS Superintendent Tom Boasberg wrote a letter to DPS parents saying the district needed to show a commitment to the support of the district's "most vulnerable children."

"All of us – parents, educators, and fellow students – need to lead the way in setting an example of love, respect and dignity for our LGBTQ+ youth," Boasberg said.

Bullying in JeffCo Schools has also been addressed this year, said the district.

“Bullying is unacceptable in Jeffco Public Schools,” said Supt. Jason Glass. “We have it in policy of course, but the real test is how we proactively convey this value and how we react when there are issues. On the proactive side our Student Engagement and Social Emotional staff members work hard to educate students on respectful behavior and social awareness; schools bring in anti-bullying speakers and programs; and student organizations like BIONIC (Believe It Or Not I Care) and Day Without Hate reach out to support students as well. When we are faced with bullying issues, student intervention is quick and clear – this is not okay in our schools and there are consequences for this type of behavior.”

Don't Be A Monster

Just in time for Halloween, a nonprofit group based in Denver from the "Haunted Attraction Association" presents an anti-bullying school assembly called "Don't Be A Monster" in 20 U.S. cities featuring "Frank" a character who's called "freak" and mocked in his middle school. The assemblies this year call on students to be "Upstanders"– kids who will stand up for outcasts and people who are being bullied.

Safe2Tell Lets Students Report Bullying

Colorado's Safe2Tell app and website provide a 24/7 monitored presence by law enforcement so students can "anonymously report anything that concerns or threatens you, your friends, your family or your community." As U.S. school violence and bullying become more visible, students, parents and teachers in Colorado have been using the app. Since 2004, Safe2Tell has received over 42,000 calls, web tips and mobile app reports.

To report a school situation that feels unsafe, call 1-877-542-7233.

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A public health issue

Once viewed as a childhood “rite of passage” that toughened kids to handle the pressures of adulthood, bullying and its more insidious digital twin, cyberbullying, is seen by many experts as a major public health issue — on par with heart disease, cancer and diabetes — with devastating and often long-term effects like the loss of self-esteem, heightened anxiety and depression.

We want to hear from you. Do you have a story to tell about bullying or cyberbullying, a suggestion about how to stem it or an event to publicize? Comment at the end of the story, or email jean.lotus@patch.com and copy bullies@patch.com. You can post Bullying Prevention Month and many other events right on Patch.

Statistics vary, but an aggregate of 80 different studies on bullying suggests one in five American students between 12 and 18 is bullied at some point during their middle or high school years. Traditional bullying — name calling, public humiliation, isolation, physical violence and that sort of thing — occurs most often, with 35 percent of kids reporting they’ve been targeted in one of those ways. The studies cited by the PACER Center, which established National Bullying Prevention Month, show that 15 percent of kids surveyed report being cyberbullied.

And though it occurs less often, cyberbullying — which has resulted in a disturbing string of suicides by adolescents and teenagers — is especially hard to stop. While experts say most cyberbullied kids don’t kill themselves, the long-tailed internet makes a taunt live longer than one flung on the schoolyard. Kids can escape traditional bullying in the safety of their homes, but because social media is so intertwined with how kids communicate, they never really escape it.

READ: Bullied To Death: When Kids Kill With Words

And because cyberbullies have the stealth of anonymity, “empathy tends to fade to zero,” NoBully.org founder Nicholas Carlisle told Patch.

He was knocked around 40 or so years ago as an awkward 12-year-old. The torment persisted through high school, but as tough as it was, his experience was markedly different from the torture kids endure today, he says — and it’s not just that he was attacked in a physical as opposed to online space.

“Online, you can’t see the whites of their eyes,” Carlisle said. “If you can see someone, that’s often a break upon people’s aggression — not always, but it does seem to have some break upon crossing the line.”

The full consequences of bullying on the brain aren’t fully understood, but kids who are targeted by bullies in childhood and adolescence are at increased risk for psychological problems that can stretch into adulthood, according to experts. In the moment, bullied kids may be unable to sleep or suffer a range of stomach issues and headaches. Later on, they’re at risk for depression, anxiety, and alcohol and drug use.

Oct. 24: Unity Day

Among the marquee National Bullying Prevention Month activities is Unity Day, observed on Wednesday, Oct. 24, when everyone is encouraged to wear and show orange to send a message that no child should ever experience bullying.

“Orange provides a powerful, visually compelling expression of solidarity,” Paula Goldberg, the executive director of the PACER Center, said in a statement. “Whether it’s hundreds of individuals at a school wearing orange, store owners offering orange products or a community changing a landmark to orange, the vibrant statement becomes a conversation starter, sending the supportive, universal message that bullying is never acceptable behavior.”

Here’s more about Unity Day:

The Bully Menace: What's ahead?

During October and beyond, several experts have agreed to answer readers’ questions about bullying, ranging from how to keep their kids from becoming targets to what to do if their kids are the bullies. We’ll also delve into some of the issues surrounding bullying —

Take a look back at some of the stories in our series:

• America’s Shameful Truth About School Shooters And Bullying
• They All Failed Changed Child: Malden Bullying Detailed
• Bullies, Their Targets The Same In A Surprising Number Of Cases
• ‘Everyday, I Wear Your Words,’ Teen Tells Bullies In Video
• Teen’s ‘I Wear Your Words’ Video Inspires Nashville Songwriters
• Bullying Of Mallory Grossman, 12, Spelled Out In Wrongful Death Lawsuit
• Poetry Teacher Helps Bullied Kids Open Their Tortured Minds
• Why These Kindergartners Start Each Day With A Simple Handshake

If you have a question or want to share your story, please email bullies@patch.com.

Story by Beth Dalbey, Patch Staff

Photo via Shutterstock