January 11th, 2024 saw Brookfield’s Republican Town Committee (“BRTC”) delve further into new and exciting uncharted territory for the town’s unsuspecting constituents. Taking a note from the Categorical Imperative, then attempting to achieve its inverse in absolute terms, the BRTC successfully repelled its critics in a landslide vote inside Brookfield’s highest learning institution.
While 2021 saw the tactics of sending fraudulent letters to the town’s petite bourgeois impersonating a local politician while defaming countless others, plus escaping all culpability, 2023 saw the BRTC take their virtuous crusade to the next level. Rather than attempt to at least assist the incumbent First Selectman become re-elected by filling the Republican slate with competent candidates, the BRTC Vacancy Committee chose to dismiss talented candidates for personal reasons, related directly to the fraudulent letters mentioned above. Rather than have that talent elected in the Primary, the BRTC scurried to stuff the slate with real vote magnets, such as the infamous O’Connor’s Pub umbrella pugilist. Rather than going into November’s election as a Republican Party, the BRTC and its new “vetted” slate spent its time hunting for lawn signs belonging to Republicans who they didn’t like, stuffing the signs in the trunk of a black sedan with the license plate “RAINMAN”. Yes, the same black sedan the Brookfield Police came to investigate at the January 11th caucus which was idling for hours, in a fire lane, with an animal inside. Completely naive to the fact that this behavior causes fodder in small New England towns and paints an accurate picture of complete chaos, the BRTC trotted downward. Rather than have a rousing victory in the November election with its slate of non-deplorables, the BRTC’s candidates were SWEPT, with the exception of one candidate on the Board of Education. Make no mistake, two Republicans were required to win for the BOE positions, and the BRTC slate managed one by default. With the BRTC’s blunt precision on full display, this was the time for any rational person, displeased with the current state of affairs, to recognize that the core issue is the BRTC’s leadership. Critical thought and just a few thinly applied strands of logic would lead absolutely no one to double-down and ask for more of the BRTC’s leadership. Alas, such established norms of cognitive relativism seem to belong to a bygone era.
Post-election, the BRTC were left to ponder the direction it was going to take to bring the local Republican party to the next level. After much consideration, the answer was clear; further down. Lower than the townsfolk could imagine. Being swept in the elections was not low enough. But then came the noise; the pitter patter of the populace coming around the corner, clamoring for change, questioning why they had zero representation in the Town, not wanting to see what lies lower than the current state. Rather than face the music of the past year’s exceptionally substandard results, a senior member of the BRTC stood in front of hundreds and called his detractors horrible and deplorable Democrats to their faces, then tossed a flicking-off gesture to the peasants. No, causal determinism does not exist in the Brookfield Republican Party, and apparently never will. The Republicans of Brookfield are left to wait with eager anticipation of what depths the BRTC will bring them to. The Democrats of Brookfield are left to look at each other with skeptical glares and ask, “Are they trying to make this easy for us?”
