A Long Step to the Beginning

Farmington sixth grader Mia Grzywinski as one of the winners of an annual essay contest sponsored by the Farmington Rotary Club in collaboration with West Woods Upper Elementary School. Read her essay, "A Long Step to the Beginning" below. 

By Mia Grzywinski

The sickening sound of your alarm clock blazes in your ear.  Your eyes shoot open.  5:30 in the morning – on a Saturday?  How bad could this weekend possibly get?  Still, there’s no time to waste.  No time to turn back.  Today’s the day.

That was me on the cold morning of December 1st, 2011.  It was a hectic morning, a scary morning.  A morning I thought I’d never want to remember.  But now I realize how meaningful that day really was and how much it now means to me.  Most importantly, that was the day I really learned what I could do.

That was the day of the black belt test.

Now, I know what your reaction must be to this, because I’ve dealt with it plenty of times.  I admit there aren’t many 5 year old girls out there who are truly interested in martial arts, let alone who are future black belt candidates.  I mean, how could a cute little kid like me actually beat someone up?   But growing up with parents who watched The Karate Kid every weekend, it wasn’t out of the ordinary in my household.  My interest began on the day I first watched Bruce Lee’s film, Enter the Dragon.  I was awed by his agility and the strength behind his techniques.  I wanted more than anything to be like him, but my after-school schedule was already taken up by ballet.  So what would I do?  Quit the stupid dance lessons and get into karate!  Sure enough, my father was thrilled about my request, though my mom wasn’t terribly pleased with my departure from ballet because she is a dancer herself.

So there I was five years later, about to be a black belt.  About to be plunged into the test of my life.  Would I succeed, or would I fail miserably?  There were so many pieces of evidence to support both.  Indeed, I was trained by a world champion, and if he thought I was prepared how could I deny him?  I had previously choked out a grown man, so I knew that self-defense wouldn’t be a problem.  But what about the fact no one my age had ever been close to black belt before?  What about all the adults who have failed this test?  And what about my instructor’s repeated phrase, “There is no junior black belt. To officially be one you have to meet adult standards.”  There were so many sides to believe, and at this moment the odds of failing seemed to overwhelm the chance of actually succeeding.

I slowly pulled the studio door open and stepped closer and closer to my doom.  I wasn’t sure if I should have been savoring or dreading each step.  I thought of my brother back at home, comfortably lounging around and playing video games while I had to meet this challenge.  Looking in, I spied the dark blue mat glaring at me.  My nemesis.  I could tell it hated me as much as I hated it.  The testing board of some 20 adults, half of whom I’d never even seen before, didn’t ease the chill in the room.  One man in particular glared at me with a sly smile, doubting that this small girl was worthy of his time.  My stomach turned.  But I kept walking forward, head down, hoping that I could not only conquer the challenge but leave the board in absolute astonishment.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I dragged myself to the middle of the mats.  Master Klinmen rose from his seat.  His intimidating eyes stabbed me like sharp knives as his towering body rose above the world.  I shrunk to what seemed like the size of a single atom while the butterflies in my stomach lifted me into the air.  As if sensing my discomfort, he chuckled.  “Don’t worry about it!  You’ll be fine.  In five hours, your pain will be over.  This will be fun.”  Multiple hours working my butt off – fun?  But there was no time to worry now.  I just had to focus on kicking, punching, and everything in between.

I managed to survive the first thirty minutes of the test without a scratch, but then the drama began.  Out of the blue, the testing board asked me to do the 5th form.  Stunned, I almost forgot what a form was, as I hadn’t prepared to demonstrate it.  This form was the combination of movements put together to act out a real-life fight.  Cautiously, I stepped into ready position. 

Don’t mess up, don’t mess up!  Kick, jab, cross, elbow, parry, block, strike… strike…what came next?  Paralyzed with a frozen brain, I sunk to the ground.  Someone from the testing board sighed dramatically, and announced, “We didn’t come all this way to see you fail!”  My dreams were crushed.  All those years of practice flushed down the toilet.  Tears swam in my eyes.  But I couldn’t give up.  Not yet.  I worked so hard to get into this mess and now I had to get out.  Thankfully, after starting the form over again, the moves came back to me, and I finished without flaw.  But that wasn’t my only surprise.  The man with the sly grin, who still doubted my ability, foolishly tested my strength by asking me to kick him.  Sure enough, I left him staggering off the mats with his wind knocked out. He didn’t dare to question me again!

        Before long, the eternal 5 hours was up.  As I stepped off the mats, the invisible 100 pound sack of worry that was hanging on my shoulders was magically hurled off.  It was over.  But I was still glazed with sweat, and my uniform was soaked.  That was one TIRING test!  Other than my tragic incident, I thought I had done pretty well.  I nailed the kicks with no doubt, and sparring was no problem.  I was even able to fight a grown man without getting my head ripped off!  Not to pat myself on the back, but that’s pretty good.

And then the moment came.

The moment I’d been preparing for ever since I started my journey.

I squished my eyes closed and savored each word.  “Mia Grzywinski… we congratulate you… in… becoming… a… black… belt.”  I did it?  I seriously did it!  My teacher handed me a black belt with my name beautifully embroidered in gold on it.  Never had the color black looked so good! 

But why did they have the belt already?  Why would they put such a beautiful thing to waste if for some reason I didn’t earn it?  I curiously asked my teacher.  “Mia,” he replied, “you must understand that when you walked through that door today, you became a black belt.  Even when you did a punch for the first time I knew this was your destiny.  How could I turn you back?  I had faith in you.”  The words lingered in my head.  So this really wasn’t meant for torture!  In fact, it was more like a talent show to prove to the other teachers how good I really am.  What a relief!  If only I knew that before the test!

So here I am now.  I still attend martial arts 3 times each week, and of course I love it!  Being able to help teach class is super special, and I love tutoring the new kids who are interested in learning.  Most importantly – I know I earned my rank.  Every step I took to get here was a tough one, yet I still had the tenacity to trudge through the snow.  And the best part?  This is only the beginning of my journey.