Manners: Do You Care?

Farmington sixth grader Kathleen Griffin as one of the winners of an annual essay contest sponsored by the Farmington Rotary Club in collaboration with West Woods Upper Elementary School. Read her essay, "Manners:  Do You Care?" below. 

By Kathleen Griffin

Over the past few years, I have noticed that people tend to have a lack of manners, and the need for them has decreased.  People don’t say “excuse me” when trying to get past another person, and they do not say “please” and “thank you.”

“Americans have become extremely rude!” says author Lauren Tarshis. “The evidence is everywhere, from the man walking down the street swearing into his cell phone or the kid cutting in line at Dunkin’ Donuts.” America has become prone to bad manners.  Kids see adults who have bad manners, so they think it’s OK to be rude themselves.  

Alex J. Packer, author of a teen manners guide says, “There is a manners meltdown in the U.S.”  He is right. No matter where you look, someone is using bad manners.

In 4th grade I was walking into school.  A girl was standing at the doorway holding the door for one of her friends.  I was just about to walk in, and she closed the door as if no one was standing there.  I thought, “Did she really just do that?  Is she joking?”  She was not joking - and that scared me.  Could a person be that disrespectful?  Apparently they could be.  This is just one of the many experiences I have had with bad manners. Kids are often not thoughtful about their actions.

A few years ago I heard a story on the news.  There had been a pre-Christmas sale at a New York Wal-Mart.  More than 2,000 people were waiting to get into the store.  A mob of people started pressing on the store’s locked doors minutes before the sale started.  The locks gave up and people pushed past guards, anxious to get good deals on items.  People were trampled and no one stopped to help them up.  In the end, many people were injured; one man even died.  This is just one example of what America has come to: people caring more about an item than an actual human being.

Do people ever think about table manners anymore?  No!  They chew with their mouths open, and text rather than engage in conversation.  Not only is chewing with your mouth open rude, it’s also very disgusting!  Who wants to see your chewed-up food?  Not anyone I know!  People who use their cell phones to text at the table can’t pay attention to the live conversation.  This sends the message that they don’t care at all because they would rather talk to their friends than spend time with their family. When I went out to dinner last week, I saw a whole family having a nice dinner.  I noticed that the son was texting his friends.  I thought to myself, “How rude! You have this opportunity to spend time with your family, but you choose to text your friends?”

Although many people can be rude, there are also a very high number of people who are careful of their actions.  The other day I was walking into school and a 5th grader was in front of me.  I was far enough away that he could have closed the door, but he waited until I grabbed hold of it.  As I thanked this thoughtful student, I thought to myself, “Maybe there is a glimmer of hope that not everyone is rude.” 

Being polite can be as simple as saying please and thank you or holding the door for someone.  Americans make it seem so hard to be polite, when it is actually an easy thing to do.  Next time you go out to eat or are sitting at the lunch table, think to yourself, “Do I have good manners?”  If not, that is a change you have to make!