Kristin Song’s Message To Gun Owners: You Need To Be Responsible

GUILFORD, CT - Editor’s Note: Not only have Kristin and Mike Song lived the past 14 plus months reeling from the tragic death of their son, Ethan, from an accidental shooting with an unsecured firearm, but the couple, at times, has had to deal with the whispers in the community and elsewhere that they should have known that Ethan was playing with guns.

Those whispers got louder last week when the Songs testified at the state Capitol in favor of “Ethan’s Law,” a bill that would provide stricter penalties for those who don’t store weapons safely in their home - a law that the Songs believe might have kept their 15-year-old son alive.

But while the vast majority of those who testified at the public hearing on the bill were in the Songs’ corner - in favor of the bill - there were some who testified if the Songs, for lack of a better description, were more aware of their son’s activities and had educated him on gun safety, that he would still be alive.

And, those same people testified, just because Ethan died it doesn’t mean new gun legislation is needed.

Here is Kristin Song’s answer to that criticism, in her words:

“One of the things that really bothered me at the hearing was that members of the Connecticut Citizens Defense League (CCDL) and some of the legislators blamed Ethan, Mike and I for Ethan’s death. Four members testified that if Ethan had been educated on handling guns, he would be alive today.

“I am so glad those people, when they were teenagers or young adults, never took part in risky behavior. They are the outliers. Most people I know have the same refrain - “I got lucky.”

“Most parents educate their children re: driving, drugs, sex, alcohol, etc. Ask how many of those children obeyed or listened to their parents on every subject. Research shows that children’s executive function part of their brains doesn’t develop thoroughly until they’re in their 20s. The executive function of the brain controls you guessed it judgment.

“Here’s the deal - Ethan’s friend on January 12, 2018 went to an NRA safety class, scored a 100 on the safety test, and grew up with guns. He was educated on the safe handling of guns.
Nineteen days after taking that safety class his friend broke every NRA safety rule and my son lost.

“You see children are curious and put themselves in dangerous situations all the time. That is why it is your job as parents to protect your children from themselves. That is why you put a fence up around a pool, make them sit in a car seat, wear their seatbelt, wear life preservers on a boat, put in smoke detectors, etc. Ask anyone who knows me, I was queen of educating my children about the dangers of the world. But, in the end, they are separate from us and make their own decisions and unfortunately some are bad.

“So many of the programs that came to Guilford were because I went to the lectures, saw the videos or sought out more educational programs and then came back to Guilford and said we need to get this program into our schools. I am still doing that-Sandy Hook Say Something and Anonymous Reporting App came to Guilford becauseof me and my friend Gretchen Toussaint.

“So many people knew Ethan was playing with guns and said nothing. This program allows children to report things anonymously so that there is no blow back on them for doing the right thing. Guilford is already having tremendous success with this program.

“The CCDL members do not have to blame me - I have blamed myself since Ethan took his last breath. I take total responsibility for Ethan and if Ethan had lived through being shot he would have taken accountability for his actions. The problem is that the CCDL members don’t want to hold the gun owner liable for reckless/negligent behavior. With awesome power come awesome responsibility. No one is above the law and that includes gun owners. They need to partner with us to ensure that children are kept safe. They continued to say that they wanted to protect their loved ones-well I do too.

“Guns were not on my radar - and Dan Markle robbed me of being able to educate MY child in gun safety education because he went behind Mike and my back to introduce Ethan to guns. If Dan Markle had the decency to contact my husband or myself the answer would have been no to shooting deadly weapons in his backyard and then we as Ethan’s parents would have taken over and educated him on guns and he would have not been allowed back at that house.

“Education is one tool in the toolbox. Securing your guns is another tool in the toolbox. Gun owners should be held responsible if a child gets access to their unsecured weapons and a child is hurt or killed.

“At the end of my testimony, I asked if anyone would trade places with me or Ethan. I looked around and not one person said yes. The silence was deafening.”

Kristin Song