Moms need a recess from back-to-school pandemic worries

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Fall is normally a welcome time for moms. Not this year, according to Lauren Jones.

“I thought that nothing would ever top the kind of stressors we endured this past year. But now that we’re seeing increases in the Delta variant, I’m more worried now than ever,” says the busy working mother of two whose 6-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son experienced several COVID scares within the last 12 months.

Jones is among America’s 46 million parents of children under 12 feeling nervous about the rise in cases associated with COVID’s Delta variant. The Delta variant is causing higher incidents of coronavirus among children under 12 as well as its spread.

“My husband is immunosuppressed, so this is super scary,” says Jones. “We spent last year in near total isolation and don’t want to go back ‘there’ again.

“The Delta variant is sucking the joy out of getting back to school,” adds Jones. “This used to be my happy time.”

One child’s unknown exposure can quickly be passed to others at neighborhood schools, day care programs, play groups, youth sports teams and organized activities — just about anywhere where larger groups congregate, closing down schools and activities for weeks.

It’s natural to get stressed about back-to-school season. In fact, a OnePoll survey found that during the average school year 60% of parents say worry causes them to lose sleep.

“What’s sleep?” asks Casey L., a mother of a preschooler and 8-year-old twins, who reports she’s getting even less sleep today than she did at the start of the pandemic. Casey, a resident of an affluent neighborhood in a bitter battle over school mask requirements, requested anonymity to shield her family from comments related to this story.

“Although many of us are struggling, we do it privately,” says Casey, who admits there is a lot of peer pressure among moms to keep a cheerful face on things.

“In most mom groups in my area, you get the sense that ‘all is well,’ when often it isn’t. We need help. But who do you ask when you have at-risk parents, distant relatives, battling friend groups divided over masking policies, dwindling financial resources for outside support and, more than anything, fear that external exposure to larger group settings may put your family at further risk?

“It’s overwhelming and I’m beyond exhausted,” says Casey.

These millennial moms are among 67% of Americans who say they are getting ‘too little’ or ‘not enough’ sleep as a result of COVID worries, according to The American Psychological Association, which surveyed household habits one year into the pandemic.

“Now, I worry about my worry,” says Jones. “And that in turn, worries me more, which means I’m getting less sleep than ever. Every mom in my neighborhood has stress or sleep issues. We’re almost too tired to talk about it anymore.”

A CAFFEINE CRUSH

That has coffee lines up in many neighborhoods. In Chicago suburbs like Naperville and Orland Park to Cleveland and Connecticut, the back-up at Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, Peet’s Coffee and other drive-thru coffee retailers have customers queuing up before opening hours at 6 a.m. and stay brisk throughout the day.

Iced-coffee sales remain particularly brisk throughout the day, according to Catherine Ingram, a Starbucks manager in Tampa, who reports her store’s sales are up and the drive-thru lane has been steady throughout the pandemic.

Although coffee is a welcome part of 64% of American adult’s morning routine, according to the National Coffee Association, it’s not a cure-all.

Even parents who’ve been able to manage anxiety in the past are finding it increasingly difficult, according to Rachel Busman, PsyD, head of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, who says it’s important that parents ask for help.

“There’s a myth that because everybody is having a hard time, your stress doesn’t count,” says Dr. Busman. “But that’s not true.”

“I really worry about the impact the pandemic is having on moms,” say Jones. “Our culture values self-sacrificing moms. We really buy into the whole ‘do-all, be-all moms’ messaging, but unless we start to take care of ourselves, we’re not going to have anything left to ‘do for’ or give much of anything to anyone, including our families” says Jones, who said she experienced significant sleep issues as a result of the pandemic.

THE BETTER WE SLEEP, THE LESS WE WORRY

Sleep is critical, according to health experts at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), who recommend that parents get at least seven hours or more of restful sleep nightly.

The better we sleep, the less we worry, according to a University of Pennsylvania study, which found that just seven consecutive days of bad sleep (4.5 hours) contributed to subjects feeling stressed and mentally exhausted.

How about 77 weeks of sleep deprivation?

Well, that’s when a “sleep issue” becomes more of an on-going concern, according to sleep experts at the Sleep Foundation, who report that trouble falling asleep or staying asleep at least three nights per week for three months or longer is a signal of a more chronic condition.

The good news?

Even just a few good nights of sleep a week can help restore your mood back to normal, according to a Harvard.edu report.

But getting there isn’t always easy.

More moms, like Motherly columnist and former Senior News Editor Heather Marcoux, are opting for more natural alternatives like CBD.

Marcoux, who started using CBD for anxiety and sleep, reported that CBD has made her “a more present, less anxious mom,” in a Motherly column.

Research suggests that CBD may benefit people with sleep, stress and anxiety-related issues, but experts are calling on more clinical studies and research to belay early findings.

A Kaiser-Permanente study found that people taking CBD for sleep also report dramatically reduced anxiety levels.

STRESS LESS, SLEEP MORE

Stress is one of the most common disruptors of sleep, according to sleep experts at Cedars Sinai, who recommend parents focus on maintaining good sleep hygiene.

With the school year starting, it’s a great time to establish a consistent, supportive evening routine that works for everyone – including mom. Experts recommend:

1) Adjust bedtimes gradually. Ease into schedule changes by getting to bed just 15 minutes earlier than the previous day. This goes for parents, too. Adjust wake-up times by 15-minute increments, getting kids out of bed slightly earlier than the day before.

2) Be consistent. Establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. Parents and kids alike will tuck into sleep easier with more stable routines. For sleep deprived adults, this is particularly important. Following the same activities the same way and in the same order nightly helps train your body-brain signals “Hey, it’s time for sleep.”

3) Ditch the devices. Follow the same device guidelines as your kids. Many households have a strict “devices down” rule that allows at least 60 minutes of time to wind down before bed. There’s real science behind this recommendation: Multiple studies show screen lights “confuse” our body’s natural sleep/wake signals. If you just do one thing, do this.

4) If you need a night light, go red. Blue and greenish light signals our body that it’s “go time” and should be avoided in bedrooms. Try red, yellow, orange hued light to promote better sleep.

5) Feet First. If you tend to get cold easily, wear socks to bed. Cold feet disrupt nighttime sleep.

6) Take a news break. Although it’s important to stay informed, digesting too much negative news takes a toll on its audience, particularly moms who are often serve as the chief medical officer of their households.

7) Talk if it helps. Walk away if it doesn’t. Every mom is different. Some like to “talk it out,” while others find real comfort in retreat. It’s okay, and can even be healthy, to opt-out of COIVD conversations with a quip like, “I’m taking pandemic pause, so I’m not able to get into that.”

8) Find local solace and solutions. Many families in your neighborhood are facing similar challenges. Banning together to create shared resources often results in treasured memories and builds lifetime friendships.

9) Create calm and “cool” environments. Make sure bedrooms are sanctuaries for sleep. Keep the lights off, temperature down (68 to 72 degrees), and plenty of comfy pillows and blankets to soothe sleep.

10) Drown the Sound. Put on soothing music or white noise, which helps you fall asleep faster. Pink noise, like falling rain, a waterfall or gentle waves improves sleep quality.

11) De-Stress. If possible, schedule your most challenging and stressful activities in the morning or early afternoon to put a healthy distance between you and your stressors. Stress is a stimulus, so it’s best to try to sidestep it before bedtime. If your thoughts keep churning into the night, it’s helpful to jot them down. The process of writing signals your brain that “I’ve got this,” while using a list format tells your brain “I’ll get to that later.”

12) Have a plan and work it. And when things don’t go the way you hoped they would remember it’s ok to be a “good enough” parent right now.

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