Protest This

I’m not a fan of protests. We’re talking sit-outside-with-a-sign protest, not boycotts or strikes.

As far as I know, nothing has ever been solved solely with a sit-in-the-street protest, yet they’re gaining popularity. Time even named “the protester” as the person of the year.

I’m all for standing up for what you believe in, but I guess I’m just a “little less talk, lot more action” kind of girl. I like a nice petition or boycott. I boycott all kinds of stuff. Hit 'em where it hurts, right in the pocketbooks.

So I was thinking: If I could protest anything, what would it be? If I could bring change by sitting somewhere with a sign, what topics would I pick? My answers were surprisingly simple. Sure, I’d like to fix all the big things (world peace, please), but we’re talking about those smaller topics that get you all riled up in everyday conversation.

So here goes.

Top five things I would protest if protesting worked:

1. Sarah McLachlan commercials being shown in households that have already adopted rescued dogs. The continues while those awful “in the arms of an angel” commercials play on my TV. I would protest those being shown to people who already have bleeding hearts. At this point they are only encouraging animal hoarding because I want to save them all. Now they have Willie Nelson on one, and that is just mean. I try to help. I don't deserve sitting through that every 15 minutes.
2. Steak Out not being in Cherokee County. Seriously, Georgians, you don’t know what you’re missing until you’ve had a steak and sweet tea delivered to your door during a rainstorm.
3. People posting ultrasound photos on Facebook. Someone reading this has undoubtedly done it, and I realize it is just one of those things that freaks me out and nobody else. But personally, I’m not going to post photos of my colonoscopy, and I don’t want to see your innards. Congrats on your baby. I hope it is healthy and perfect, but I don’t want to see it until it’s born, cleaned up and not that creepy purple color.
4. Designers not making pants for average-sized people. I’m not petite. I’m not tall. I’m average. You can’t buy pants that are the right length for flats if you’re average. They say average on the label, but they are lying.
5. Hairstylists who don’t look at the picture you brought in. If I bring you a photo that is all one length, don’t make it shorter in the front and longer in the back because it’s already long. That’s called a mullet. I don’t want “business in the front, party in the back.” I want the proper business-party mix all the way around. Did the photo look like that? I know I won’t look like Jessica Simpson, but you can try to make my hair resemble hers.

If I could protest things and have them make a difference, it would be those things, plus not having a Chick-fil-A in Somebody get on that. You could put one of those little kiosk ones that only have the walk-up window and the drive-thru right across fromand make millions of dollars.