A Mother's Letters With Her Daughter's Killer Help Both Heal

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL — Barbara Mangi could have remained angry at and bitter toward Patrick Ford, the man accused of the 2007 murder of her 25-year-old daughter, Dana. Instead, the 66-year-old Arlington Heights woman not only forgave Ford, who pleaded "guilty but mentally ill" to the killing as part of a deal with prosecutors in 2010, she has corresponded with him since 2014, trading nearly a dozen letters annually.

Mangi discusses her relationship with Ford in her new book, "Reawakening: Return of Lightness and Peace after My Daughter’s Murder," and in a recent interview with Nara Schoenberg of the Chicago Tribune. She describes how the two have helped one another to repair some of the damage done by Dana's murder.

"I’ve been able to help him to forgive himself and to heal, which is something I could never have imagined would ever happen to me in my life," Mangi, a devout Catholic, told Schoenberg. "I just feel like God has been with me throughout this whole journey helping me — I don’t know how else to explain it."

Ford was arrested in connection with Dana's murder after he called police to his Lake View apartment to report her death. At the time of his arrest, officers found him with self-inflicted knife cuts, and he allegedly confessed to officers that he had strangled and stabbed Dana, according to the Tribune.

The two had known each other while going to college at Loyola University and had briefly dated, the report stated. Dana, who was to have attended a Cubs viewing party with Ford the night she was killed, had planned to begin veterinary school at the University of Minnesota in a few weeks, the report added.

During his trial, it was determined that Ford struggled alcohol, marijuana and a personality disorder. He eventually agreed to a plea deal in 2010 and was sentenced to 35 years in prison for first-degree murder, the Tribune reports.

A turning point for Mangi came when Ford, who never explained to police or during his trial why he allegedly killed Dana, apologized for the murder in court. She told the Tribune that she believed the contrition he expressed was sincere, and she began feeling sorrow for Ford, despite a nagging guilt that she was letting the man responsible for her daughter's death off the hook. However, it was remembering Dana's own forgiving nature that allowed Mangi to begin to forgive as well.

"Something miraculous had happened in the courtroom that day. … That short exchange healed me in a way I never expected or thought possible," she wrote in her book.

It wasn't until four years after the courtroom apology that Mangi began corresponding with Ford, who has said in his letters to her that he's dedicated the rest of his life to becoming the best person he can be. Although she will never be able to condone what he did to her daughter, Mangi has told Ford that she has come to see him as someone who is more than the crime he committed.

Barbara Mangi's book, "Reawakening: Return of Lightness and Peace after My Daughter’s Murder," can be purchased on Amazon.

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