Best of Craigslist: Inflatable Waterslide; Need Woman for Phone Calls

The following items and postings were found on Craigslist for the Burr Ridge, Darien, Downers Grove, Hinsdale, Clarendon Hills and Lemont area. Note: Patch has no control over the status of these posts on Craigslist and how long they remain available.

Inflatable Waterslide

Scramble up one side of this epic slide, then send yourself careening down the slippery opposite slope. Repeat forever, and I think you have a pretty amazing day for a kid and all his/her friends. If this slide, just $250 from Downers Grove and complete with blower and wheeled storage container, doesn't make you the most popular house in the neighborhood on a hot summer's day, I don't know what will.

Need Woman for Phone Calls

Here's the deal. Be female. Meet this person in a public place near Downers Grove. Use their phone to make a call. "Say what I tell you to say." And you're done. If this doesn't utterly creep you out, congrats, you just found an easy way to earn $20. I suggest using it to take out a life-insurance policy.

75,000 'Magic' Cards (But I'm Clueless)

I know nothing about "Magic: The Gathering" except that it's a card game. But I imagine anyone with game know-how would be able to put together a pretty sweet deck from this Lemont person's 75,000 (!) cards, selling for $1750 all together, or lower prices separately. But don't ask them. "I have no idea what is there, nor do I really care," they say rather honestly. So you may be buying a Phyrexian in a poke, here.

Play a Hooker in Our Film

Coming soon, from the director of "The Death Coach" and "Morbid Curiosity," it's a film in which you, yes you, can play a naked hooker named Saffron! (Assuming you are a 22-40 woman, and can be "a tough and gritty trooper, willing to do what and who must be done.") The Downers Grove-filming movie is apparently about Edgar, the sadistic murdering necromancer. I don't give Saffron good odds for making it to the end credits.

Train the Kids in Five Sports!

The dial on the side of this marvel says it all: basketball, football, golf, hockey and soccer, in this indoor all-in-one that looks like a blast for athletically inclined kids. Plus, electronic scoring! Going for just $30 in Darien. They'll repay that when they become the next Michael Jordan/Aaron Rodgers/Tiger Woods/Wayne Gretsky/Pele, right? (Or, Lisa Leslie/Lauren Silberman/Yani Tseng/Hayley Wickenheiser/Mia Hamm.)

Phone Call to the 19th Century

It's a crank telephone, so I guess you could use it to make crank calls. (Ba-dum, tish.) $250 in Lemont.

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