District 308 Confronts Cyber-Bullying Head On at Information Night

If you don't know what your kids are up to online, you could be making a fatal mistake.

That was part of the tough message delivered Monday at a Oswego Communinty Unit District 308 forum on cyber-bullying, a problem that continues to grow with every latest technological innovation.

Speakers in Oswego East High School's Performing Arts Center included Oswego Police Chief Dwight Baird, Kendall County State's Attorney Eric Weis, District 308 Supt. Dan O'Donnell, director of student services Marti Neahring and most powerfully Jason Bastin, OEHS' police school recourse officer.

Bastin led the crowd of about 150 through a slide show presentation focusing on how students and parents can combat cyber-bullying in all its forms. He warned parents that children who are the victims are being attacked day and night and not only at school.

"It used to be that when you went home the bully wasn't at your house ... these kids can't get away from these bullies, especially if they have access in to your home," Bastin said.

Some of the ways parents can help their children escape the cyber-bully is to block the sender of hateful e-mails, text messages and instant messages. Bastin also urged parents to inform school officials and police of harassment and asked that evidence be saved by parents and not deleted.

The popularity of the social networking site Facebook has magnified the problem of cyber-bullying, Bastin said. Students wishing to spread lies and gossip about classmates can do so with relative ease.

Bastin said it's important for parents to take a proactive interest in what their children are doing on Facebook and help them establish appropriate privacy settings and other limits. Friending your children on Facebook can be one way of tracking their social media habits.

However, Bastin said just because you can see what your children are doing on Facebook doesn't mean they haven't created another profile to keep hidden from parents.

"If you ask your child for a friend request, I guarantee you in some cases those kids are turning around two minutes later and setting up another account," he said.

Neahring of social services also warned of the dangers of Facebook and how it can expose very young children to cyber-bullying. She said she has been told by junior high students that many of them under 13 have lied about their age to gain an account through the site, which requires users to be at least 13.

Neahring discussed some of the warning signs of cyber-bullying and what effects it can have on children. Kids receiving frequent text messages at all hours, refusing to share text messages and e-mails with parents and multiple e-mail accounts are all signs that they be getting harassed.

Some of the effects, Neahring said, are depression, anxiety, decreased academic success, lessening self-esteem, substance abuse, loneliness and in some cases suicide.

The hour-long forum closed with the reading of a suicide note from a child who had been to his parents. The note, and the overall message of the evening, had a lasting effect for at least one mother who attended.

"It was very powerful and eye-opening" said Robin Cleary, who has a small child about to enter school. "I'm scared for kids today and I'm even more scared for what things will be like in 10 years."