Essential relationship, essential joy

“Weeping is lodged in one side of my heart, and joy is lodged in the other” (Zohar).

Mazel Tov we are engaged! Rabbi, can we meet to discuss wedding plans?Rabbi our son passed away, we need guidance.My wife is on her deathbed, Rabbi, can you help?
These are all conversations that I had over the past week.

Tomorrow is Rosh Chodesh, it is known as a month of joy.

Purim is the only Jewish holiday that its impact affects the entire month! The Talmud tells us "When the month of Adar enters, we increase in joy ". In the Megillah it is written: “It is the month that was reversed from grief to joy". Not the day or week, but the month!

The Jews were at their most vulnerable and painful state. They were in exile, kicked out of their homeland. Their temple was destroyed, and many people disconnected from, or were not strongly connected to, their faith.

Why wasn't Haman successful in getting rid of the Jews? What is the secret to Jewish survival?

One of the answers is that while a Jew may not always practice 100%, the Jew is always Jewish at their core. Even when it looks like they are Jew "ish".

Your name may be a functionary tool so others can contact you. However, according to the Kabbalah, your name is the pipeline through which your spiritual essence and energy flow. You are your essence, your identity.

Regardless of the ups and downs of life, we are still the same at our core. Whether dealing with grief or joy, we are the same individual.

The same is true with the Jewish people. Regardless of the ups and downs, both spiritually and materially, our very core identity is never affected.

We see this more when we are down than when we are on the up. When G-d fights for us to have goodness, during challenging times, it shows His love and care. G-d saved the Jewish people during their exile, yet they remained in exile. G-d showed that the darkness can turn into light. G-d showed the strength of the relationship, the depth of his caring.

Purim affects the entire month to be a MONTH of JOY because it doesn't celebrate the euphoria of the "ups" but the strength of the relationship on the down! The essence, the energy, the love for the YOU, not what you provide for me!

The month of Adar, which Haman understood to be the most inauspicious month for the Jews, is the happiest month of the year. The month when we bear in mind that being "disconnected" has absolutely no bearing on our core connection with G‑d.

Of course we need to work on remaining connected by doing more mitzvot, but at the core we are connected in a deeper way, where our behavior has no bearing on our relationship.

Rabbi Kushi Schusterman

P.S. An amazing story that I heard reveals this essential relationship

“We’re sorry, comrades . . .” crackled the voice being broadcast from military headquarters, “there’s nothing we can do at this point . . . Prepare for the worst.”The Egyptian army was advancing quickly on their isolated brigade. The backup they so desperately needed would not be coming.

Within the hour they would all die. How to spend their last moments?

One soldier asked for permission to speak.

“Have faith in G‑d,” he cried with his entire being, as only one who stares death in the eye can.“Even if a sharp sword presses on your neck, don’t despair of G‑d’s mercy!”

His words penetrated their hearts. “There are no atheists in a foxhole,” goes the saying. And they were deep in a foxhole.

One of the soldiers, experiencing faith for the first time in his life, made a silent vow to G‑d.“Master of the world, if we make it out of this hellhole alive, I promise to lay tefillin each day!”

All too soon it was over. By a miracle, the Egyptians were rebuffed. After they had fled, the damage was assessed, and it was found that all but one soldier had escaped injury: the soldier who had made a vow to G‑d.

He had lost an arm. His left arm. The arm upon which tefillin are wrapped.

He was broken. This was too much to bear. Could G‑d be mocking him?

The faith he had recently discovered threatened to disappear.

He visited many rabbis with his question. How could G‑d take the very arm with which he had hoped to bind himself to Him?

The answers he was given didn’t satisfy him, and he sank into despair.

All of that changed at a late-night meeting with the Rebbe.

The soldier told the Rebbe his story. Together, they cried.

The Rebbe then gently said, “Perhaps this was G‑d’s way of telling you that His relationship with you is unconditional. He loves you not for what you may or may not do, but as you are. Like a parent loves his child…”

It was then that his wound began to heal.
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