Waltham Teacher Runs NYC Virtual Marathon To Raise Awareness

WALTHAM, MA — Justin Fillios wasn't yet taller than his mother when he helped her finish one of her first marathons in Maine. As she rounded the bend, Justin in his baggy jeans and oversized white tank top spotted her and jumped into the race next to her, grabbing her fuel belt and putting it around his own waist. He then grabbed his mother's hand as they crossed the finish line together.

That was some 30 marathons ago, but the image and the symbolism of her child taking her hand to help her finish a challenge has not left Sandee Landon. Saturday, more than nine months after she tragically lost her son Justin, Landon will be running the TCS NYC Virtual Marathon in his honor, and to put a spotlight on the needs of people with mental health issues.

Running, and the sense of community that comes with her running groups, is helping her through the grief of losing her son in what the family thinks may have been an accident. A runner since 2007, she's run marathons in 23 states. Since she lost her son in February, each marathon she's run— and she's run about eight —has been part of her healing.

Landon is a teacher at Kennedy Middle School where she has taught Spanish for the past 14 years. She also helps English Language Learners. Her school colleagues, teachers and the former principal had her back through a number of emergency phone calls regarding her son and the times she had to run home to help ensure he had the support he needed. She tears up when she talks about how they held her up on the day of Justin's memorial.

"It’s a very difficult time for me. It continues to be a struggle daily," Landon said.

Justin was just 20 when he died, but he was much more than a tragic end. Landon described her oldest son as ever-observant and selfless and full of compassion.

"Did I mention how handsome, he was?" Landon said.

Once, in Boston, she saw him take the shirt he was wearing and give it to a man who was experiencing homelessness. He'd help a neighbor at the drop of a hat, she said.

But he had a rough go of it. Since about the eighth grade, Landon started to recognize that there was more going on with him.

"He struggled a lot with his mental health and feeling accepted and making good friends," she said. "We really worked hard to give him the tools he needed, but it just seemed like we couldn’t find the right tools or exercise them."

Landon said although Justin died at his own hands, the family is still not sure if it was an accident.

Across the country underlying mental health issues that often lead to death often go untreated, according to health experts. Depression affects 20-25 percent of Americans 18 and up in a given year, according to the CDC. And only half of all Americans experiencing an episode of major depression receive treatment, according to NAMI. That often leads to attempts to harm oneself.

Landon said that sometimes it would take weeks to get an appointment for her son with a health care professional. And sometimes it felt like they were just a number.

"You are there for 20 mins and you’re out," she said.

There was one social worker who really had an impact on her son, and for that, she will be forever grateful, she said.

"There needs to be more support for people like him," she said. "Mental health illness exists and I just don’t think people realize this. I think we just need to be aware and be compassionate and kind."

In 2007, Landon started running when a friend suggested she give it a try as a way to stay healthy. At first, she didn't think she would be able to run a full mile, but she started slow. In the beginning she ran a little and walked a little until she was able to run a mile, then a 5k, and then she joined a running group. Then she ran her first marathon in 2008.

Shortly after her son died, she saw that the title sponsor of the New York Marathon was selecting 50 teachers to join a special Team TCS Teachers program to run. She was among hundreds who interviewed, and one of 50 teachers to secure a spot on the Tata Consultancy Services teacher team.

Through it, she hopes to inspire her students to work toward long term goals one "stride" at a time. And by dedicating her run to her son, she hopes his memory is not lost, and his care for others goes forward in her efforts to help bring awareness to mental health issues and suicide prevention.

"I don’t want anyone to be going through what I’m going through," Landon says, tearing up. "He was my greatest joy and now I just miss him."

A lot of this is still new to her. And, it’s hard for her to put the process into words.

"I have to learn how to deal with my new life, my change," she said. "That’s my journey here forward. The way to honor him is to be as compassionate of a person as he was and to bring awareness for an illness that the world today couldn’t help him with."

She doesn't know what she's going to think about from 5:30 a.m. when she heads out to run 28 loops near the cemetery where her son has a marker. But she's set her loop up so that she will pass it twice each loop so that he will be a big part of this run. Her husband will join her for the very beginning, a friend will bring her coffee around 8 a.m. and she expects her son's father to come join for a few laps in for Justin. But the finish line?

That will likely just be her and Justin, she said, remembering that race in Maine so many years ago. He's her finisher.

Although the Landon family is not sure Justin's death was an accident, close to 800,000 people die because of suicide every year, according to the World Health Organization. In the U.S., that's 43,000 a year, and the Centers for Disease Control and prevention report that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in the US for people between the ages of 18 and 65.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) chat with NSPL Services Crisis, or Text “HOME” to 741-741