Kids & Family
It Takes Two to Safely End a Relationship, HAVEN CEO Says
Asking domestic violence victims whether they feel safe can be the first step to saving them from the situation.
Victims of domestic violence often feel isolated and ashamed about their situation, said Beth Morrison, president and CEO of Michigan nonprofit HAVEN.
That often prevents them from getting help before it's too late. Intimate partner violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in 2007, according to a statistic provided by HAVEN.
Morrison said victims of domestic violence often don't know where to turn, so it's important for family and friends to reach out.
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"If someone suspects that there is domestic violence happening, I think the first thing to say is: "Are you safe? Do you feel safe at home?" she said.
>>See the YouTube video above of a domestic abuse survivor describing how HAVEN can help.
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If someone says they aren't safe, Morrison said you should say you are glad to help. If the person says no, but you might suspect something is going on, she said it's important for that person to know you are available.
"You can say: 'If that changes, and you get to the point where you don’t feel safe, please let me know,'" she said.
Most domestic homicides occur when the relationship is ending, whether at the time of or after divorce, she said.
"It takes two people to safely end a relationship," she said.
Morrison said the victim can do everything right, but things can end badly if the batterer is not willing to give it up. She said some people might hear that and think that is the very reason they can't get help, especially if they were threatened in the past when trying to end the relationship.
"But encourage victims to reach out for at least information," she said.
HAVEN helps people dealing with domestic violence put together a safety plan. That plan can include providing a cell phone to which the abusive partner does not have access.
"Don’t be the expert, be the support," Morrison said.
She said people are more likely to say they need help if they feel supported. Sometimes, that support doesn't have to come directly from you. She said sharing resources, like the number to a confidential crisis line, can also make an impact.
HAVEN's 24-hour crisis support line is 1-877-922-1274. People can also seek help online at HAVEN's website.
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