Chapter 11: One Phone Call From Oblivion

One minute he was muscling a dolly containing enough explosives to bring down a shopping center, the next he was back inside of his Grandma Anna's kitchen, entranced by the saccharine scent of a homemade apple strudel baking in the oven.

"Gunter," his beloved Grandma sang in German. "You need to go wash your hands before you can have any sweets."

The German, now in his 40s, looked down at his hands, suddenly realizing they were much smaller than he recalled. His Oma Anna had passed away nearly 20 years ago.

Wait a second, Gunter thought, Is this all just another daydream?

The blaring of a car horn jerked him back to reality, back to the West parking ramp of the Mall of America.

Gunter gritted his teeth as Holly's VW Bug screeched within inches of ending their plan with a literal bang. To think, one careless person could have ruined months of preparations.

"Don't worry about it," Traudel whispered. "Keep moving."

Jorgen glared at the bewildered woman, but slowly purged the anger from his system and continued with the mission at hand.

The trio sauntered past the miniature vehicle and through a set of sliding glass doors on the lower level. They paused for just a moment, taking in the accomplishment of making it this far, inside the Mall of America. It was just after 9 a.m., yet because of the season, the mall was already teeming with shoppers. Traudel, Gunter and Jorgen didn't seem to be drawing any particular attention, even though they were wearing blue jumpsuits and wheeling a cardboard box the size of a refrigerator through the heart of the mall.

Gunter craned his neck up and sideways, taking in the spectacle of shops and shoppers. He'd never seen anything quite like it.

They needed to get their bearings. Jorgen had done some reconnaissance at the mall several days earlier, to map a path to their destination and scout the mall's security. Still, now inside with a 300-pound bomb on the dolly in front of him, he looked confused. None of the shops looked familiar.

The trio found a nearby kiosk with a mall directory and, within a minute the location of Sea Life Minnesota Aquarium.

"Scheiße!" Traudel exclaimed. "Jorgen! You were supposed to park in the East ramp, not the West one!"

Waves of anquish swept over the three, as they faced the grim reality they would have to wheel the payload through hundreds of shoppers, to the opposite side of the mall.

"Tut mir leid," Jorgen said. "I must have gotten the directions confused or something! I will kill GoogleMaps."

Traudel let out a deep sigh, then turned back to the fluorescent map in front of her.

"The quickest route is going to be directly through this Nickelodeon Universe, whatever that is," she muttered. "Gunter, start pushing."

Soon the three were stunned by the screams of children echoing from the walls of the indoor amusement park. Elated kids darted between Traudel, Gunter and Jorgen every few seconds. Gunter's lips trembled. 

"Are you Smurfs?" one child asked, tugging at Traudel's jumpsuit.

Perhaps this wasn't my finest plan, she thought.

But the Germans pressed onward, Gunter weaving the dolly and its volatile package through the maze of people, straining to minimize any jostling of the contents inside.

They finally made it to the other side of the park, finally within reach of the mall's aquarium. They would need to be particularly cautious from here on out to remain unnoticed.

EEEEEEEEEEKK!

The right wheel of the dolly released a shrill squeak as they rounded the last corner, raising the attention of a nearby security guard. The guard approached the trio.

"Excuse me," he started. "What are you guys doing with that?"

"We have a delivery for the Sea Life Aquarium," Jorgen responded.

Jorgen elbowed Gunter stiffly in the back, encouraging him to chime in and ease the guard's suspicions.

"Howdy, friend," Gunter said, twisting his voice into a strange interpretation of an American accent. "Got us a new tank here for ze aquarium. Any idea where we 'ought to take it?"

The guard eyed each of the three, up and down, trying to make sense of the baby blue jumpsuits they were wearing. I've never seen delivery people look like this before, he thought.

"Nobody said anything about a delivery today," the guard told them.

Traudel plunged a gloved hand into her coverall pocket, pulling out a crinkled form filled with jargon. The guard scanned the sheet and, after what felt like hours, nodded and directed them to the back entrance of the aquarium.

Jorgen held the door open as Gunter carefully eased the dolly through the doorway. They gently lowered it to the ground and began to unbox the device amid tanks stocked with jellyfish, seahorses and rays.

"Schneller!" Traudel pleaded. "We can't afford to waste any more time."

Jorgen double and triple-checked his work, but the device looked ready to use. He meticulously flipped a series of switches and punched in the activation code to bring his creation to life.

One quick phone call and this capitalist hell would be nothing more than rubble, he thought.

"Alles gut," Jorden said, nodding. "Now let's get out of here."