King Donald’s Sword of Discord

Attend the tale of Mad King Donald who coveted the Sword of Ike, then sought vengeance on good Arrington who rightfully stopped that woeful act.

Then weep over the rubble that once was an important chamber of “The People’s House” — where once patriotic dreams thrived but now are crushed and fading from our history.

Behold the ever-hopeful yet deeply saddened America at the hands of one with nary a drop of royal blood nor shred of integrity. In today’s realm, ’Tis not the best of times. ’Tis not yet the worst of times, either. ’Tis the time of the inept micromanager who descended upon our democracy like a greedy octopus whose thirst for absolute power could not be satisfied with a mere Presidency. Nay, this crooked tradesman decided to run the country like one of his businesses, then “became King,” despite his common ancestry. In that manner, he could disobey all the Laws of The Land and ignore protocol with a wink because, after all, he was King.

Like a puffy old Napoleon Bonaparte, he arbitrarily decided to crown himself King — but with attitude and swagger, not with literal coronet. With his own figurative pomposity, he seized the figurative throne…as if that could make his fat, lumpy ass regal.

Alas, it could not.

Such lack of royal blood and absence of understanding heart does not a monarch make or mold.

Lo and behold, his self-proclaimed reign has wrought only confusion and fear to his subjects who both voted and not voted him to be their President. Now we all yearn to merely sup at our tables each night without fear of poverty nor knock of ICE-y hoods at our doors. This King Donald cares not for the commonweal nor for the common man’s healthcare.

And yet, he not only craves laud for his wrongdoing but demands ceaseless adoration from the very ones he harms!

His own vainglory even led him to plot a pilgrimage to the British Isles, then proclaim it as a goodwill visit to meet with King Charles.

In truth, the only goodwill he sought ’twas for himself. ’Twas yet another ruse to gain more attention for himself so he could flex his own muscle as a warrior when he had never been in any battle, nor performed any service for God and Country. He wanted to dramatically assert that his Kingdom had once saved Britain, as well as Western Europe, during World War II. He also wanted to remind King Charles that he was now the one in charge of a powerful military force that could easily smite him and his little island kingdom.

What better way for King Donald to symbolize his power than with an actual sword.

But not just any sword — The Sword of Ike.

Yea, the very sword that Wilhelmina, Queen of the Netherlands, gave General Dwight D. Eisenhower in 1947, in honor of his valiant leadership during World War II. So beloved was this warrior that he was elected to serve two terms as America’s 34th President. His campaign slogan “I Like Ike,” became fitting and true for many in our realm because he was diplomat, peacemaker, and public servant — not just soldier.

When Ike’s presidential library was built in Abilene, Kansas, the village of his birth, that sword found its forever home. There it was preserved as relic, as original artifact, for posterity. Unfortunately, such sentiment meant nothing to this Mad King.

Why would any leader want to give away such a symbol of such an important time in America’s history?

No leader of stable mind and understanding heart would dream of robbing our country of such a precious artifact…but King Donald is no leader. Self-absorbed and sociopathic is this pretender to pretended throne.

So obsessed was he with getting his own way that he was unprepared for the resistance from Todd Arrington — former Army Veteran, avid historian, and, at that time, director of the Dwight D. Eisenhower Presidential Library. Arrington reminded the belligerent octopus that the Sword of Ike belonged NOT to this self-proclaimed King but to our nation’s government. That meant that the library was legally obligated to preserve it for posterity — not send it away to another country.

This sword was no flashy gift to give to another Monarch in another Kingdom. Nay, ’twas meant by law, to be preserved at the library for the American public.

And yet, ever the obedient public servant, Arrington labored with the State Department to find another sword. So King Charles did not get the Sword of Ike but received a “cadet saber” from West Point and was gracious about it.

After that exchange, King Donald’s vindictiveness gushed forth like a drunken Geat who bumped into Beowulf during a night watch.

Because “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” Arrington was not attacked until after yon pilgrimage. The questionable charge against Arrington mysteriously emerged later on, like a fairy’s bad breath. Suddenly, this library director was accused of breaching “confidential information.” He allegedly shared information with his staff about changes to the “plans for a new education center” and was ordered to either “resign or be fired.” (So he resigned.)

Once again, this Mad King ignored the law, got away with doing so, and no one in The Kingdom could do anything about it…except shed more tears for our vanishing democracy.

And what of his demolition of the East Wing of The People’s House without getting lawful approval?

Sad to say, the Chinese geomancers are shaking their heads and laughing at King Donald’s inauspicious and downright dangerous destruction of The People’s House that is on the East side. Bad Feng Shui…and The Donald and his subjects and his Kingdom will soon pay a terrible price for his decision to renovate during such an ill-omened time.