Trump Gets Kimmeled — Then Seeks Vengeance

Attention, all you linguists, lexicographers, philologists, and neologists: there’s a new word in town, and it’s an active verb The Donald hates so much that he wants to destroy its main purveyor.

The word is “kimmel” — and it comes to us through the courtesy of humorist and TV host Jimmy Kimmel.

What makes this word so fascinating is that so many Americans already intuitively knew what it meant BEFORE they even realized there was a new word that aptly described what they already knew! No, it’s not listed in dictionaries online or in books now but should be and will be soon.

Kim-mel V. Kimmeled, Kimmeling, Kimmels. 1. Making dry, ironic commentary that is based in truth. 2. Making observations that are so accurate and honest that they seem offensive and insulting to the dishonest, designated targets.

To kimmel is to deftly expose obvious truth in a humorous yet underhanded manner. It’s the epitome of ironic, observational comedy. It bites because of its acute awareness but never chomps down to the bone.

It’s the difference between pricking a pinky with a sharp sewing needle versus smashing a brain with a heavy mallet. So this brand of humor recognizes the absurdity that is already there, right in front of our eyes, but offers another pair of fresh eyes to reframe and remind us what we’re really seeing.

In any case, such observations about current events and politics done for comedic effect fall under the category of Freedom of Speech that our Constitution protects.

Somehow, for some reason, President Trump didn’t get that memo. Neither did new FCC Chairman Brendan Carr, Vice President J.D. Vance, ABC-TV, Skydance, and countless MAGA followers. Even The Mouse Factory seemed determined to make Mr. Kimmel’s workplace the unhappiest place on earth. Why?

Suddenly the fascist stench from the unholy alliance of government and business is starting to smother both TV and entertainment industries. That kind of misguided authoritarianism is frightening.

What’s even scarier, though, is how Jimmy Kimmel and his show got lambasted — no, excoriated — for the “offensive remarks” he made about slain activist Charlie Kirk during his monologue on Monday, September 15th, when he literally did not make such remarks!

Furthermore, what he did say was directed towards the “MAGA gang” and Trump — not at Kirk. So his humor — with the set-up, build-up, and punchline — was not only protected under The Constitution, it also had that unmistakeable ring of truth. His remarks might have been subjective, but there was an inherent accuracy about what he was saying.

In other words, he was kimmeling Trump, and kimmeling so well that his designated Presidential target couldn’t handle the truth. That’s the real reason The Donald sprang into action and got him removed from ABC-TV.

Still confused, dear readers? Still wondering why such a vendetta was leveled against this TV host? Let’s go back to that night in question and review what was actually said. The following dialogue wasn’t just what I personally heard on the television. It’s also taken from online quotes and newspaper reports. So nothing is fabricated or exaggerated. Here’s what Mr. Kimmel actually said:

“We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”

Remember, before any actual information about Kirk’s shooter was verified, theories about his motive were running rampant throughout mass media and various websites. “This kid who murdered Charlie Kirk” was characterized as a godless, pro-gay/transgender, hateful lost lamb who was radicalized by The Left — NOT a god-fearing, deeply religious, conservative patriot who embraced MAGA and everything about The Right.

That was what Mr. Kimmel meant when he spoke of scoring political points.

Then he added another comment about Trump which was also true. Remember, Trump had been purported to admire, even revere, Kirk for spreading his MAGA ideology. So there was no exaggeration or disrespect intended:

“In between the finger-pointing, there was grieving. On Friday, the White House flew the flags at half-staff, which got some criticism. But on a human level, you can see how hard the President is taking this.”

Segue to footage of actual news conference that included a question asked by a reporter that was made with the utmost deference and respect:

“My condolences on the loss of your friend Charlie Kirk. May I ask, sir, personally, how are you holding up over the last day and a half, sir?”

That inquiry seemed designed to enable this President to eloquently show the humanity behind his loss. With his answer, Trump could have provided consolation and hope to Kirk’s family. His response could have also given comfort to countless Americans(on both sides of the aisle) who were distraught over the prevailing onslaught our country is experiencing.

But here’s how The Donald answered:

“I think very good. And by the way, right there, you see all the trucks? They’ve just started construction of the new ballroom for The White House, which is something they’ve been trying to get, as you know, for about 150 years. And it’s going to be a beauty.”

After that, the camera returned to Mr. Kimmel who delivered this punchline:

“Yes, he’s at the fourth stage of grief: construction. Demolition, construction. This is not how an adult grieves the murder of someone he called a friend. This is how a four-year-old mourns a goldfish, OK?”

And with that wry observation, an unmistakable truth was revealed about Trump’s empathy: he hasn’t got any. That’s what really infuriated Trump. Someone on TV pointed out something that he wants to keep secret: The Donald isn’t a normal human being. He’s a bona fide, honest-to-God sociopath. He feels more comfortable in his deception and narcissism than he does with genuinely caring about other people. He’s also obsessed with retribution and manipulating the legal system with his lawsuits. Like so many other sociopaths, though, he doesn’t want to admit he has this “problem.”

My guess is that, at some point in his life, Trump was psychoanalyzed and got this diagnosis — which he didn’t like and didn’t want anyone else to know. Every day in every way, however, he continues to show how sociopathic he really is.

No, I’m not a doctor. No, I’m not a psychologist, either.

I’m just an American who’s been trying to understand(and cope with) a President who continues to believe he’s above the law and has no respect for the U.S. Constitution. As a U.S. citizen, I can freely voice my ideas in these opinion editorials without fear of being arrested or deported. There’s no malice underlying my analyses or observations. There’s no libel afloat either, because as writer and thinker, I have no real power to harm or unseat this President.

Because it seems that Trump’s actions stem from his delusion of privileged but unethical superiority with dollar signs, I’m going to be like Jimmy Kimmel and keep kimmeling The Donald for as long as possible. I might not have a TV show or salary to lose, but by God I can still kimmel this inept felon-in-chief.

If we keep giving Trump an inch, he will keep taking 37 miles and then taxing us to pay for his new Trump Freeway — “the greatest freeway in the history of the world.” Come on. We can no longer allow this guy to keep getting away with his childish and cartoonish narcissism.