10 Years After Heart Transplant, Cranford High School Grad Pens Memoir

CRANFORD, NJ — Ten years after receiving a life-saving heart transplant when she was 12 years old, Cranford High School graduate Emma Rothman decided to document her healing journey by putting pen to paper.

Rothman's debut novel, "Things My Therapist Doesn't Want Me To Say, Ten Years Post Heart Transplant," is the first time the 23-year-old has shared her story without relying on her parents to help fill in the gaps.

In 2021, Rothman's heart turned ten, and she started to write about the growing pains of receiving a heart transplant. The memoir details Rothman's struggle to find a balance between being "normal" and chronically ill, all while navigating the transition to adulthood.

In March of 2011, Rothman's parents took her to the hospital after she was experiencing extreme fatigue and not being able to function at school.

What was supposed to be a routine blood test turned into a major surgery when Rothman went into cardiac arrest, was put on life-support under an induced coma, and was rushed to the pediatric cardiac intensive care unit at New York-Presbyterian/Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital.

Showing no prior symptoms, Rothman was somehow battling end-stage heart failure brought on by hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. On April 1, 2011 she underwent a successful emergency heart transplant that saved her life. Just 15 days later, Rothman was discharged, taking with her instructions for how to care for her new heart at home.

Rothman said she began writing her memoir at around the 10-year anniversary of her heart transplant.

"I was waiting for the perfect time," Rothman told Patch. "And I thought 10 years was a good place to start."

Back in 2013, Rothman's family established Hearts for Emma — a 501 (c)3 organization that provides assistance to families of children with heart disease, and supports educational initiatives related to heart transplantation, as well as promoting awareness of organ and tissue donation.

But Rothman said this project was spearheaded by her parents and that she never had the opportunity to talk about her health history and story on her own terms.

"When my heart turned 10 and I was graduating college, I thought I could write this book and leave my past in the past and start adulting as this new human that's not chronically ill or [has] a transplant, but as you can imagine, kind of the complete opposite happened."

She originally hoped that writing the book would help provide the closure and clarity she needed in her healing journey, but instead, she was met with a lot of anxiety, depression and fear.

This internal struggle is exactly what Rothman talks about in her memoir.

When asked about how the writing process went, Rothman said "difficult" is an understatement.

"I was trying to [write] it from an objective point of view because I was scared of what I was going to uncover once I started writing personally," Rothman said. "It was kind of like submerging myself in that one year."

Rothman said the book took about eight months to write. She worked on it while taking a writing class at the Creator Institute where she met with a developmental editor every week. Her manuscript was acquired by New Degree Press shortly thereafter.

The title of the book "Things My Therapist Doesn't Want Me To Say" was largely inspired by Rothman's conversations with her therapist, Dr. J, who is one of the main characters of the book.

Rothman said the memoir paints Dr. J as a sort of antagonist, as she holds Rothman accountable to stay present with her chronic disease instead of living in the past or future.

"Working with [Dr. J] is one of the main reasons why I was able to write this book because I learned how to take ownership over my identity," Rothman said.

In terms of the impact that the book will have on readers, Rothman hopes that her memoir can help people find a sense of community and relate to her story, whether they have experienced receiving a transplant or not.

When she was younger, Rothman said it was difficult for her to find community and people that she could relate to who went through a similar experience.

"I isolated [myself] and I'm hoping that people, even if they have never been personally affected by organ donation or transplantation, will be able to relate to the messiness of learning to trust yourself and letting go of the idea that you have to bear all this on your own. It can be really hard trusting people with your experience," Rothman said. "Me and my therapist were the sole bearers of all this for most of the last decade

After hitting "submit" about a week ago, Rothman said she felt a sense of "freeness" that she never could have imagined. She said she never expected to feel this kind of catharsis.

A year out from graduating from Syracuse University, Rothman is unsure what is next for her, whether it be writing or community outreach, but she is hopeful that she will connect with people through the process of publishing her book.

The soft cover of the book is set to be released in late October and will become available on Amazon and barnesandnoble.com. Rothman is also planning to do a presale of her eBook before the soft cover comes out, which will be available for $0.99 for one month.

You can read more about the book and find out when it will be available on Rothman's website.

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