NJ Domestic Violence Cases May Ramp Up Around New Year's: Here's Why

[NOTE: This story first appeared in 2021, but the information and statistics are useful in any year.]

NEW JERSEY — The recent high-profile domestic violence killing of Gabby Petito of Long Island — who had publicly chronicled her "van life" with boyfriend (and suspect) Brian Laundrie — spurred difficult conversations about the number of intimate partner murders around the country.

A look at news stories across America from New Year's Eve to New Year's Day each year — including a case in Union County, N.J. last New Year's Eve — shows numbers that are higher than typical law enforcement statistics, often peaking during that holiday.

"We see a rise before Christmas, the few days leading up to Christmas, and then it slows down — we know part of domestic violence has a 'honeymoon period' — and after that we see a spike of same thing starting two to three days before New Year's," said Mira Vanjari, the director of programs for the Center for Hope and Safety, a domestic violence group based in Bergen County.

Justice Department statistics about domestic violence murders often are a few years old and based on incomplete knowledge of the relationship between perpetrator and victim, something the agencies have acknowledged.

Five Women Killed On New Year's Eve

On New Year's Eve 2020, Kim Lewandowski, 62, a mother of three, was killed in Union County, N.J., where she was living with a man she knew from high school. She suffered severe bruises. The complaint, obtained by Patch via an Open Public Records Act request, said that Edward Sokowski, 62 — who was charged with murder — told police he'd fallen asleep and woke up to find her dead. The report, which had portions blacked out, said he characterized her as both a friend and "intimate partner."

The 24-hour period from 5 p.m. on New Year's Eve through New Year's Day has been a deadly time for domestic violence, both last year and in previous years.

A check of news reports shows at least four reported intimate partner killings in America on Dec. 31, 2020, the same evening as the death in Linden, and then more cases on New Year's Day 2021:

• Texas Man Kills Wife, Mother-In-Law On New Year's Eve
• Charges Against Boyfriend In New Year's Eve Double Murder (Missouri)
• Colorado Man With Domestic Violence History Suspected Of Killing Wife On New Year's Eve
• Police Believe Anaheim Man Killed Woman, Self On New Year's Eve
• Man Allegedly Confesses To Killing Girlfriend In Truck On New Year's Day
  
• Woman Charged With Killing Boyfriend On New Year's Day

Advocates have said that stressors may increase during that time — children home, families in close quarters, financial issues, and parties bringing alcohol into the mix.

With laws about violence and restraining orders differing from state to state, there are ways to tighten procedures to prevent recurrences of abuse, as New Jersey did last July in response to the death of a young mother in Union County. READ MORE: Strangulation Is Now A Second-Degree Crime In New Jersey

Meanwhile, there are also ways potential victims can protect themselves or quietly plan ahead, Vanjari noted, even if they can't leave a dangerous situation right away.

"Every survivor is the best judge of the their safety and their situation," she said. "One thing is to really speak to someone they trust that can help them navigate to safety — a friend, a family member, someone in the community. The downside of abuse is isolation. They may not have that one person. They may need to call a domestic violence agency such as ours to safely plan or discuss what they can do."

She added, "It doesn't mean they have to leave right away, until they feel ready, but to have that connection is important."

Anyone in immediate danger can call 911.

There are many reasons a victim may not leave right away — they may be worried about children or a pet they share with a partner, they may not know where to go, or the abuse may temporarily calm down. An agency can help with resources.

The first person they tell can be a doctor, clergy member, neighbor, or someone else trustworthy, Vanjari noted.

"People may try to make sure they have documents, passports, bank statements, but sometimes it's even dangerous for survivors to go and acquire them," she said. "They need to think about their safety first."

Last year's victims came from all backgrounds and socioeconomic groups, but agencies say women from marginalized groups are at a higher risk for domestic violence murders than other demographics. READ MORE: How Common Are Cases Like Gabby Petito's? 3 North Jersey Killings Tell Dark Story

A Hotline In Each New Jersey County

• In Bergen County, people who want to reach out may call the Center for Hope and Safety at 201-944-9600.
• In Hudson County, people may call Womenrising in Jersey City at 201-333-5700.
• In Union County, people may call Project: PROTECT through the YWCA at 908-355-4357 (HELP).

In fact, each county has a domestic violence agency, and the state has its own hotline and list of resources. The state hotline is 1-800-572-SAFE (7233). The list of county agencies and other information on how to protect oneself legally in New Jersey is here.

The national Hotline, reachable through phone, text, or chat, is 800-799-SAFE (7233).

• READ MORE: How Common Are Cases Like Gabby Petito's? 3 North Jersey Killings Tell Dark Story
• READ MORE: At Age 6, Hoboken Woman Lost Mom To Domestic Violence. She's Worried Again.
• READ MORE: Domestic Violence Calls Up 40 Percent In Somerset County
  
• READ MORE: 17 Women Killed By DV In New Jersey In First 10 Months Of 2023

What do you think? Comment below. Got news? Email caren.lissner@patch.com.
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