Holmdel Youth Football Coach Yanked 7-Year-Old’s Helmet Off, Berated Players, Lawsuit Alleges

HOLMDEL, NJ — A Holmdel youth football coach is accused of yanking a helmet off a 7-year-old’s head and screaming at him, and grabbing an 8-year-old roughly by the arms and calling him a quitter, injuring and humiliating both children in front of the team, the boys’ parents say in a lawsuit.

In a lawsuit filed on Aug. 8, Karen Pallante and Catherine Grunsfeld allege that Timothy Kelly, the Holmdel Football Association’s commissioner, was physically and verbally violent towards players, and that the association and its president, Suzanne Serini, failed to address his behavior.

In response to Patch’s request for comment on the lawsuit, Serini, Kelly, and Association Vice President Gary Vanderham said they do not discuss pending litigation, per their attorneys.

Pallante and Grunsfeld, in the lawsuit, say Kelly coached their sons on the association’s 7U team (made up of 7-year-olds) in 2023.

The first incident happened to Pallante’s son during a practice on Sept. 15, 2023. Pallante said Kelly grabbed her son’s facemask, ripped his helmet off and threw it across the field because he was angry over what he said was her son’s “inattention to directions.”

Kelly then screamed at Pallante’s son in front of the team and parents that his practice time was over and demanded he “get off the field.”

Pallante said she found her son in the parking lot, where he was “visibly shaken up” and alone. As she walked back to the field to get his helmet, she said Kelly approached her, began yelling at her and waving his arms “violently,” leading Pallante to fear that he would be physically violent towards her.

Pallante said Kelly told her he did not know she was there and that he claimed that he repeatedly told the boy to follow his coaching instructions. She said she decided to talk to Kelly another day about the incident.

Two days later, on Sept. 17, 2023, Pallante said she told Kelly he had “severely overreacted," that it’s never appropriate to physically assault a child, and asked that he not behave that way again.

She said Kelly responded “defensively and aggressively,” and told her that he would not change his approach, and that he didn’t see anything wrong with his conduct. He also defended his actions by saying he is “hardest” on his own children to set an example for what other children on the team can expect from him as a coach.

Pallante said Kelly then “launched into a tirade” about how Holmdel’s children are “privileged” and “coddled,” and said that he uses the methods he does to establish his concept of authority.

In the lawsuit, Pallante and Grunsfeld say those methods conflict with the association’s mission to “enable the children and young adults of Holmdel to actively participate in football and cheerleading in a safe, structured and positive environment which will enable them to learn fundamental values, skills and knowledge that they will use throughout their lives.”

Grunsfeld, whose son was Pallante’s teammate, said her son had negative interactions with Kelly the following year.

In a May 2024 game, she said, Kelly stopped the game to scream at her son and called him a “quitter” for “giving up on the play” after he had mistakenly thrown an interception. The boy ran off the field in tears and was consoled on the sidelines by an assistant coach.

In October 2024, there was another incident where Kelly grabbed Grunsfeld’s son “violently by his arms” and shoved him off the field while screaming “get off the field” after he committed what Kelly felt was an error during the game.

After Grunsfeld intervened to defend her son, she said Kelly responded by “hurling vulgar expletives and insults” at her in front of other children and parents and telling her to “get the f— off my field.”

The game officials intervened, and the association’s treasurer told Grunsfeld that Kelly and the association would be fined because of “the confrontation on the field.”

Grunsfeld said Kelly’s wife confronted her after the game as she was trying to leave the field as well, and called her a “f— b—” because she “got her husband fined.”

According to the lawsuit, Grunsfeld later received a text message from a member of the officiating crew that stated:

A man should never talk to a woman like that. Secondly [for Kelly] to make the statement that I am the commissioner is BS when you act like that. Being the commissioner you should lead by example, not argue with families from your own organization.

According to police records obtained through an Open Public Records Act request, Pallante did not report the incident with her son to police, though Grunsfeld spoke with Holmdel Police in November 2024, around a month after the incident at the October game.

Holmdel Police told Grunsfeld that she could file a harassment complaint on her son's behalf, but said authorities determined they could not pursue criminal charges against Kelly.

When reached by Patch, the prosecutor's office declined to comment on the matter.

In the lawsuit, Pallante and Grunsfeld said they raised their concerns about Kelly’s actions to the association board and Serini, but have seen no evidence of his behavior being addressed.

Pallante said she wrote to Serini in October 2023, asking for an investigation into Kelly’s conduct, saying that Kelly is “coaching 7-year-old boys using fear and intimidation.”

Initially, Serini told Pallante she would be having a conversation with Kelly to discuss some of his behavior, though Serini also said, “Tim is really [an] unbelievable coach, but may not be able to turn off his intensity to the younger kids.”

Serini told Pallante that her concerns had “not gone on deaf ears.”

A year later, Grunsfeld wrote to NJ American Youth Football asking them to investigate Kelly’s behavior, and received a response from the state organization that Serini confirmed to NJAYF that Kelly had been warned about his conduct.

Grunsfeld and Pallante said they sent additional letters through their attorneys to the board seeking an investigation into Kelly and demanded access to certain records, but received no substantive responses.

“We didn't arrive at this place [filing a lawsuit] overnight,” Grunsfeld said in a phone call with Patch. “Karen and I both tried to approach the board in less formal ways and to handle these situations more diplomatically, but this is a last resort for us.”

“I think the real problem here is that it’s easier for most folks in the community to dismiss this kind of misconduct — even though everybody sees it, nobody really wants to talk about it because it’s too uncomfortable,” Grunsfeld said. “Everybody kind of wants to shrug their shoulders and back away from it, and that's convenient to do until it's happening to your own child.”

Pallante said her son suffered significant pain from having his helmet yanked off, was forced to sleep sitting up and took pain relievers for several days after the incident.

He finished out the 2023 fall season, Pallante said, but only because of the interventions of others, such as Sal Marraccino, an assistant coach on the team who also serves on the association board. Her son no longer plays football and has lost his love for the sport.

Both boys have been seen by professional counselors for trauma, their mothers said.

Pallante and Grunsfeld want to see Kelly barred from coaching and from any role with the Holmdel Football Association.

“No child should be subjected to physical mistreatment under the guise of discipline or motivation,” Grunsfeld and Pallante said. “Football is a demanding sport, but there is a clear difference between tough coaching and abusive behavior.”

Editor's Note: This article has been updated with additional information from the Holmdel Township Police Department obtained through an Open Public Records Act request and from the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office.