'Goodness and Hope Remain'

The birth of a first child is “a defining moment,” says Lisa Fellen-Saurborn. Her son Ryan was born 10 years ago, and she recalls the days leading up to his birth vividly.

Due on Sept. 4, Ryan was late, and Lisa was eager to meet her first child. Her husband was at a meeting at Windows on the World that day, but there was no need to call him home. Lisa wouldn't feel the first twinges of labor until nearly a week later. Shortly after dropping her husband off at his office in Manhattan on Sept. 10, she called and told him to take the next train to Maplewood.

Lisa thought Ryan would arrive that day, which she notes was “sixty years to the day” after his grandmother was born. She was born at Saint Barnabas when it was located in Newark, says Lisa, who labored at Saint Barnabas Medical Center in Livingston.

After 21 hours of labor, Ryan Saurborn entered the world at 8 a.m. on Sept. 11, 2001.

Shortly after, Lisa held her newborn and saw images of the World Trade Center attacks.

“I was looking at my son, knowing he was a blessing, but worried that the world was falling apart,” she explains. Her most vivid memory is the televised images of people holding signs up the camera that read, “Have you seen —" followed by a name and description of a family member or friend.

“My son’s first purpose in life,” Lisa says, “was — and is still — to remind us that good things will continue to happen. Life goes on, and babies will be born, even when it seems hard to believe that.”

She sighs. “It’s a huge, huge lesson,” she says, noting that her rabbi shared the story Ryan’s birth with their congregation to remind them of the same lesson.

Now, as Ryan turns 10, he is better able to understand the events of the day he was born. This summer, on a rare unscheduled day, when his two younger sisters were busy, Ryan asked Lisa to show him Ground Zero.

At first, she recalls, she hesitated. But Ryan wanted to see it firsthand, and she hoped he would better understand the reaction from others to his date of birth.

Ryan looked silently at Ground Zero and the Freedom Tower for a long time, recalls Lisa. Soon afterward, they came home.

This year, Ryan wanted to do something on his birthday to mark the anniversary, so he wrote to the Mayor of Maplewood to ask about planting a garden or lighting candles. The mayor invited Ryan to participate in the town's memorial service.

As she does each year, Lisa will mark Ryan’s birthday by reminding him of what his birth meant to her and her husband, to their extended family, and to the community. “Goodness and hope remain,” she says. “His birth reminded of us of that when we needed it most.”