Exhausted moms need a time out

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By Jackie Berg

Tired? Many moms are, according to mental health experts, who worry that this year’s holiday hubbub will only serve to elevate parental stress levels.

Millennial moms are among the most impacted with 93% of household CEOs (chief everything officers) surveyed reporting pre-holiday burnout.

Perpetual burnout has become so commonplace, that many moms claim it's not even a topic of conversation any longer.

“It’s a given,” says Mallory Miller, a mother of two grade schoolers, both of whom have been impacted by exposure to the Delta variant and related quarantines this fall.

“Most moms are just too tired to talk about our exhaustion levels. I thought things were going to get much better this fall, but I’m completely flamed out” says Miller, who reports that her stress level is skyrocketing just weeks before planned holiday celebrations are scheduled to commence.

Add in her kid’s mid-winter break, several holiday events and three extended family gatherings and things really get “interesting,” according to Miller, who says this year’s holiday logistics are a bit of a “moving” target.

Moms fear that their next task, will be the one that puts them over the edge, according to Motherly contributor Mita Mallick, who reports, like many moms, she finds herself feeling more angry, resentful, and guilty.

Fleeting days of hope, followed by spats of hopelessness, are common. Most moms have come to reluctantly accept burnout.

Why?

Because fighting it only uses up the little bit of energy they have left, according to Mallick.

Although many aren’t feeling up to be this year’s so-called magic maker, there’s increasing pressure for moms like Miller and Mallick to make merry.

CANCEL CHRISTMAS, HANNAKUH OR KWANZA EVENTS?

Cancel Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanza celebrations? Although it may seem an unthinkable concept, it’s a thought that’s been lurking in the corners in the minds of a growing number of Americans, 35% of whom say they are burnt out on the holiday season before its arrival.

Nearly 60% of holiday hosts say they need escape routes, according to a Festive Burnout survey, which reports respondents’ estimate they’ll need 10 or more time-outs over the holidays.

This year will be different than year’s past, according to mental health experts who share concerns that the convergence of pandemic-weary revelers with rusty social skills will result in holiday havoc.

It’s not just about avoiding the awkward jokes, although on average Americans will endure at least three quips from not-so-funny family members during holiday events (In our house, Uncle Joe covers that in his opening salvo alone).

As if socially distancing distanced relatives and guests isn’t enough, holiday hosts must be prepared to act as a peacekeeper in at least four or more family squabbles, according to researchers.

Who has the energy?

PUT ON THE BRAKES?

Holiday stress is inevitable, according to mental health professionals, who worry that too many households’ over-the-top holiday plans will become a tipping point this year.

Coming into the holiday start over-stressed and over-tired, nearly 6 in 10 (Festive Burnout) respondents say they anticipate sacrificing additional sleep due to holiday stress.

That’s a problem, according to sleep experts, who say what Americans don’t need is less sleep. Spoiler alert:

You can’t “catch-up,” on lost sleep and you sure can’t “make-up” for more than a year’s worth of traditions abandoned during the pandemic, experts warn, noting that such efforts may add even pressure to what the American Psychological Association already recognizes as a uniquely stressful time.

Even though it might seem counterintuitive, the holidays may be a very good time to do less and enjoy more.

Although many experts (and the overloaded masses of millennial moms) agree it’s time to hit the off button, it can be hard to find.

CONSUME CAUTIOUSLY

Although a popular, the liquor cabinet is no cure-all according to researchers at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Maryland, who found that pandemic-related alcohol consumption spiked among women, 60% of whom reported more stress-related drinking last year.

No pandemic panacea, stress-related alcohol consumption contributed to elevated alcohol addiction rates, pandemic weight gain and chronic health issues like liver disease, up 30% in women since the pandemic’s start, according to the University of Michigan.

Increasing rates of cirrhosis and liver cancer deaths of women are becoming the canary in the coal mine, Professor Jernigan states in a New York Times report. The impact of alcohol abuse is far reaching and is a major contributor to a range of issues.

Experts recommend overly stressed moms consume with caution and avoid using alcohol as an escape.

COPE KITS

Women seeking non-addictive products to cope, are shifting to supplements, according to the Brightfield Group, which reports that consumption of CBD and related products like Delta 8 are on the rise among millennial moms.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO) CBD exhibits no effects indicative of any abuse or dependence in humans.

It’s also liver friendly, according to a Validcare, which affirmed CBD safety in its 7-month clinical study that revealed “no clinical evidence of liver disease or increase in the prevalence of elevated liver function tests in any participants”.

Although such research is promising, CBD advocates and skeptics in the scientific community are calling for further research.

RELAXATION IS KEY

Often sleep deprived, 8 in 10 female consumers report using CBD or cannabis products right before bed, as a sleep or relaxation aid.

Even though it might seem counterintuitive, the holidays may be a very good time to do less and enjoy more, according to health experts who say pandemic moms need an escape route.

Mental Health expert Dr. John Delony says stress is a constant that can elevate quickly as holiday pressures mount.

Although many seasonal stressors can be hard to avoid, they don’t have to unglue you, according to Delony, who says it’s important that moms think ahead, avoid predictable pitfalls whenever possible and have a response plan on the ready.

Practicing tolerance, putting boundaries in place, and maintaining them will be key to keeping America’s peacekeepers (moms) on the holiday front where it’s a given that things are going to go wrong.

Health professionals recommend moms set aside a few minutes for themselves daily to decompress from holiday stress.

Maintaining an exercise routine and a healthy sense of humor help, and when stress overload arrives, as it predictably does every holiday season, reminding yourself to take a few deep breaths helps many moms keep their calm on says Delony.

Two-thirds (65%) of millennial moms feel unappreciated family members who don’t realize how much time and effort they put into the holidays. Factor in the 80% feeling pressure to make the 2021 holiday even more special this year, many moms are at a breaking point.

We can’t quit, according to a Microsoft survey, which revealed 4 of 10 millennial moms believe they would be more likely to win the lottery than have a family member step up and lead this holiday.

No mom, there isn’t an elf on the shelf for this one.

With the holidays approaching, one thing is clear. Moms (and Dads) need a break. Ask Mallory Miller.

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