Six Ways to Make a Personal Connection to Your Seder

“In each generation, we must see ourselves as having been freed from slavery in Egypt.”

This is the primary commandment of the festival of Passover.  But how do we make this happen? For ourselves? For our children? And for family and friends joining us for seder?

Sure, we eat Matza, known as the bread of affliction, and chocolate lollipops are certainly a favorite treat—but, at a time when our freedoms are taken for granted it takes a little creativity and ingenuity to truly experience this message.

The seder that takes place on the first two nights of the holiday sets the tone for our celebration. We use a Haggadah—a seder guidebook—to remind ourselves of the Passover symbols and story.

There are a number of wonderful Haggadot that have been published to help families navigate the various rituals but I would encourage you to step outside the Haggadah and find ways to personally connect to the story.

1. Bidichat Chametz—the search for non-kosher for Passover foods:

Most Haggadahs begin with ritual known as bidichat chametz, the search for all those foods not permitted on Passover. Some may clean out their entire kitchen while others may just put the forbidden foods in certain cabinet. To get children involved in this ritual cleaning (where do you think the term “spring Cleaning” comes from?) you can take baggies with bread, cereal, pasta and other non-passover foods and have the children go on a scavenger hunt for them. For adults, I often begin my seder by handing out post-it notes and pencils and asking them to write down personal or spiritual chametz, something they’d like to cleanse themselves of in the coming season. Then I collect the notes and items found and make a show of throwing them away.

2.The Four Questions

Every year we read the four questions, beginning with “why is this night different than all other nights?”  Ask your guests what their questions are for the holiday. See if another guest can offer an answer. 

3. The Maggid

In trying the re-live our ancestors’ experience, we retell the story of how Moses was saved by Pharaoh’s daughter and subsequently, with God’s help, saved the Jewish people from slavery. Bring the story alive with costumes and props and  have the children act out the story.

4. The Four Children

Every year when I was growing up, we went around the table, each reading a paragraph from the Haggadah. And it seemed to me that every year I got stuck reading the paragraph about the wicked child. In the Different Night Haggadah you can find a cartoon depiction of the four children which is a great resource for discussion—about stereotypes, about how we see our children and about how they see themselves. In addition, if you have many parents as guests, flip the questions around and se if you can identify four types of parents and how they relate to the Passover story.

5. The Plagues

It is customary to spill a drop of wine from one’s Kiddush cup while reciting each of the ten plagues—blood, frogs, cattle disease, etc. Try a new spin on the plagues by making them modern. The seder leader can do this beforehand or you can ask your guests to think about and offer plagues that afflict us and/or society today—financial pressure, homelessness, poverty, genocide, to name a few.  You can also find lists of modern plagues on the internet.

6. Add New Rituals

Scholars, rabbis and lay-people alike are constantly adding new rituals and ideas to enhance the Passover celebration. Add a beet to your seder plate to express a commitment to the environment, add an orange to show support for gay and lesbian inclusion, provide an extra wine glass and identify it as Mirian’s cup to promote the inclusion of women in the Passover story. You can find these and other meaningful rituals at ritualwell.org.

Passover is a celebration—of triumph over tragedy, of freedom of slavery. It is a festival that pulls us out of the darkness of winter and offers us hope and optimism. May each of us be renewed and best wishes to all for a zisen Pesach- a sweet Passover!

A guest column from Rabbi Stacy Bergman of in Bedford Corners.