"I Saw Myself In Him:" Volunteers Find Friendship, Support Through Service

NASSAU COUNTY, NY — Long Island residents, veteran John Scalesi, 69, and Keith Lupski, 36, have connected while volunteering for their community through the Long Island Cares organization in Bethpage.

Scalesi is an active member of his Bellmore community, involved in many charitable organizations, and Lupski of Hicksville volunteers at Long Island Cares weekly to give back to Long Islanders.

Keith and his mother, Patricia, have been volunteering at Bethpage for almost a year, and they met Scalesi during one of their volunteer days. Scalesi volunteers with various organizations, including the Nassau County Veterans Service Agency, and he is the senior vice commander of Disabled American Veterans. He picks up food weekly from LI Cares to bring to the NCVSA, which is how he met Lupski. Patricia said Scalesi formed an immediate connection with Keith.

“I was a disabled kid when I was young, so I saw myself in him,” Scalesi said. “Keith’s an inspiration. I’m inspired by Keith and his mom. His mom is always by his side, helping and teaching him.”

Patricia said that Scalesi encourages her son, cheering him on, and that Scalesi is “always so kind and accepting of Keith.”

She explained that Keith is developmentally delayed and legally blind, which she said can make it a bit challenging to find a program he fits into.

“He also has a progressive liver disease called primary sclerosing cholangitis, which will eventually require a liver transplant,” she said. “The liver disease has resulted in osteoporosis and an enlarged spleen. These conditions prevent him from engaging in any activity that could lead to a fall or injury to his abdomen.”

Scalesi said he is part of organizations that support individuals with disabilities and shared that he struggled with stuttering since he was a kid.

“At a young age, I stuttered,” he said. “I stopped stuttering, got on the right track, joined the Army, and then got hurt. I was hit with an explosion that brought my stuttering back.”

He has a history of service, including serving his country. He enlisted in 1977, and during training, there was an accident. A device misfired, and he was sent to the hospital.

“That’s where my stuttering came back. The Army gave me a speech device. I put it in my ear every time I go speed dating,” he said with a laugh.

He was an EMT for 10 years in Nassau County, and he recalled that he was in the helicopter with Harry Chapin — founder of Long Island Cares — when Chapin was being transported after his 1981 accident, during an attempt to save him.

Scalesi has been in the fire service industry for 45 years — 10 with the North Bellmore Fire Department and 35 with the Bellmore Volunteer Fire Department.

At eight years old, he went to Hofstra University and Adelphi University for speech programs until he was a teenager. His stuttering dissipated over time, but came back after his accident while in service.

“After that, I returned and was the guinea pig for other students who were going to become speech pathologists,” he said. “They helped me stop stuttering, so I went back to return the favor to give tips and advice, and research. They learned the things that I did that helped me.”

Scalesi said he cares deeply about giving back to the community, especially those he can see himself in.

“I was disabled and overcame it through other friends and my mom,” he said. “I saw the light and the way Keith’s mom takes care of him.”

He also used to be a job coach in Central Nassau, where he helped disabled folks find jobs, standing up for the individuals he was helping.

Scalesi wrote a book, "From Disabled to Abled", where he goes into detail about his life in advocacy and service. He said volunteering is important, and that “everybody helps each other."

Scalesi supports Keith so much so that he recommended Keith for a county citation. Keith was awarded a citation from Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman for "significant contributions for the betterment of our residents."

“I believe he recognizes the potential Keith has and has given him much encouragement and support,” Patricia said. “I am inclined to think John has a personal understanding of living with a disability and wanted to recognize the potential Keith has and provide him with sincere support and encouragement.”

Patricia said she and Keith were honored that Keith was awarded the citation by the county.

“We were both very surprised,” she said on Keith’s citation. “We are volunteering just as many others do across LI Cares. Keith was very happy to tell his family and members of his support team of this accomplishment.”

Patricia said that giving back to their community is important to both her and Keith, and she wanted to find an organization where Keith would feel he belonged — something Long Island Cares has provided.

“I also struggled for a long time to help Keith find a program which suited his capabilities — he was either too high functioning or deemed not high functioning enough,” she said.

She added that volunteering gives them a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

“It also lends to a strong sense of community,” she said. “For Keith, it provides an opportunity to improve his social skills and also teaches important lessons on how everyone can contribute, no matter their level of ability. Volunteering at LI Cares appealed to me as something Keith and I could do together to help others in need. No matter the range of ability, there is capability, and everyone can make a difference.”