Smoke Roach Is The Pizza Rat Replacement You Never Always Wanted

NEW YORK CITY — Pizza Rat is over. Rats are over. Rats? Who cares. Not now. Not since Cigarette Cockroach.

Divorce attorney Tom Kretchmar posted video Friday of a moment you'll probably need to see to believe: a cockroach crawling across a subway grate clutching a dirty cigarette butt.

"Tired: pizza rat," wrote Kretchmar. "Wired: cigarette cockroach."

Kretchmar told Patch he took the video Friday at the E/M subway at East 53rd Street and Fifth Avenue.

"I watched for 90 seconds then I had to go," he wrote. "So I don’t know how it ends."

Cigarette Cockroach marks the end of an era dominated by city rats and the vices they enjoy. Pizza Rat charmed New York with his slice, Avocado Rat lived the hipster dream (sans fedora, sadly), Pole Rat had a show-stopping showtime and Hennessy Rat would have given them all a run for their money ... if it could move.

New Yorkers did not mourn the end of the rat, but expressed delight at Kretchmar's discovery.

"They will outlive us all," wrote @VengeanceMail.

"Smoke Roach," suggested @HoratioTuna. "That’s a more marketable name."

"They start so young," noted @glittersquirrel.

But one person chastised Kretchmar for his lack of good manners.

"Put the f---ing camera down," tweeted @SubParHusband. "And give a brother a light."