Remembering Beloved LI Girl On What Would Have Been Her 16th Birthday

GREENPORT, NY — If everything were different, Amber Stulsky, a 10-year-old girl killed in a horrific Greenport crash while out shopping for supplies on the night before the first day of school in 2019, would have turned 16 this week.

Sweet 16. A high school student with dreams and plans and friends, and a family who adored her. But instead, those left behind have only her memory to hold close.

On the North Fork, one woman has made it her mission to ensure Amber's memory is celebrated forever, with acts of kindness done in her honor.

Erin Bednoski noted that December 3 would have been Amber's 16th birthday. And, as she has done in past years, she organized an effort to give back in her beloved memory.

"Happy Birthday in heaven, sweet Amber Rae! Today, we remember Amber on what should be her 16th birthday," she wrote. "In her honor, my girls and I will be collecting birthday celebration items. Candles, balloon packages, streamers, cake mix boxes, icing, etc. to create 16 birthday boxes for CAST. Our goal is to bring birthday celebration boxes for eight boys and eight girls who might not otherwise get the birthday celebration they deserve."

She added: "Help us meet our goal while remembering Amber and just how precious life is."

Inbox Bednoski on Facebook for the drop-off location.

In past years, she has organized collections to help the homeless, and also, a coat drive.

"I'm just happy to help keep her memory alive," Bednoski said. Her daughter Abbi and Amber were close friends. "I promised Abbi she would not be forgotten."

Amber was killed just hours before she would have been starting fifth grade.

Her memory fills hearts on the North Fork, as family and friends continue to mourn her unthinkable loss.

"Keeping her memory alive is important to me," Amber's aunt Amanda Stulsky told Patch in a prior interview. "I have pictures on my wall and I keep one in my car. She was a true joy to be around — and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my niece."

In a past year, Stulsky planned a lantern release with her children and her brother Jason, Amber's father. On that day, to celebrate her life, she said, "We save a seat for her at dinner and share our favorite memories, as well as look at pictures," she said.

Bednoski and her daugher Abbi also did rock painting in 2020 to remember Amber on the night before school started — and the kids took them to school the first day and decorated a garden, she said.

Reflecting on the loss, Bednosk said the pain echoes.

"I look at my own children and see how they have grown. I don’t know what’s worse, the pain of the loss — or the pain of what will never be."

In past interviews, Bednoski said Amber had been her daughter Abbi's friend for two years. "She was a sweet kid. Soft-spoken. She didn’t ask for much; she loved the simple things. She always loved to have fun, and she loved nature," Bednoski said.

Amber, Bednoski said, spent time at her house with Abbi and her other two girls, making memories at sleepovers, swimming, riding Hoverboards, and spending days at Splish Splash.

Abbi used to stay in during recess to help her with her math, Bednoski said.

"I hope you're dancing in the sky," Bednoski has said, remembering Amber. "I hope you're singing in the angels' choir. And I hope the angels know what they have."

On his Facebook page, Amber's father posted photos marking the date of his baby girl's 16th birthday. "I miss you," he said.