Cyber Dating for Grade Schoolers?

My seven-year-old son had two hot "dates" last week. He took one girl out for pizza, while the other visited his home, met his puffles, and accompanied him to the Do Jo to practice Card-Jitsu, a type of martial arts.

All this without ever leaving the house or my watchful gaze. I owe this to the laptop computer which sits in our den. Who says kids spend too much time online, or that technology limits their social interaction creating antisocial beings? 

Well, I might have, before my son started making cyber-friends. Not to worry, there is no profile for him on Match.Com—you can only find my guy on Club Penguin, where he is conspicuously disguised as a penguin named Zabathy1. 

Club Penguin, for those who are not up on elementary school social networking sites is a Disney enterprise and online community of mighty penguins on missions. And at least in my home, Club Penguin has become a way to meet the chicks, or more accurately, penguin chicks.

The first meeting, scheduled for after school, almost came to a grinding halt before it began. My son waited for the young lady at the appointed time outside the pizza place, where she didn’t show. I told him to give it fifteen minutes; maybe her bus was late.

I worried, though, that her mother didn’t approve of her daughter meeting up online, or worse, that she did approve, but not with my son. I wondered if I should call her mom but decided it wasn’t my job to meddle in my son’s social life.

Ultimately he phoned the girl, who had not realized that this date was a meet-up and was therefore waiting for Jonah’s call before she logged on. Broken heart averted!

The second date was a bit more forward. She called Jonah, and as I passed the phone off to him he ran behind closed doors talking excitedly about their plans.

Not so fast, buddy. “Jonah can you please tell her you will call her back after dinner?” I asked. His enthusiasm was too much—after all this was his second "date" in a two days.

As I listened to the conversation, later I thought that I shouldn’t have a front row on my son’s date. But it is hard to ignore when the whole scene unfolds in my den, on my speaker phone so he can talk and move the computer's mouse simultaneously. I pondered whether I should set a time limit the time limit to his date.

If he were playing alone, he would be allowed 30 minutes to play, but since this involved some human-to-human, instead of human to penguin interaction should the same rules apply? Since it was a date maybe I should enforce a curfew. And what was the other mom thinking?

All these questions are stressful but I have come to appreciate "cyber-dating" for the grade school set—Club Penguin has afforded me the chance to work on his phone skills.

I hear parents of teens complain their kids don’t know how to conduct a conversation with an adult anymore. Cell phones give them immediate access to their friends. Gone are the days of being forced to chat with a peer’s parent. But when my son called his lady friend, we rehearsed basic etiquette.

 “Hello, Mrs. Smith, this is Jonah. May I please speak to my gal pal?”

Then he could practice small talk when ‘Mrs. Smith’ peppered him with questions like, “Did you enjoy the assembly at school today?” I have to say that he nailed it. When he placed his call, he was courteous. Then, when his gal got on the line he reverted back to a seven-year-old spilling out his words as quickly as he could form them.

Jonah is also learning how to react when the plot deviates from the script. When he called his second date back after dinner—which I explained had to be after 7 p.m. as it is rude to call during the dinner hour—her brother answered the phone. He was totally flustered, as he recognized the voice was not that of an adult. Luckily mom was on hand to coach him through the awkwardness. He is too young to be embarrassed by such interference, only grateful that it exists.

It’s ironic that the technology which has been cited as an alienating force has served as a conduit for "Mom’s Manners 101." With half an ear to the game I can make sure that my guy treats his friends with dignity, while making a favorable impression on their mothers. And I get to practice some parental decision making skills of my own, pre-pre adolescence while my authority is not likely to be challenged.

And all this for low, low price of an internet connection and $5.95 per month.