After Death, LI Man Remembered For Helping Others While Battling Own Addiction

MASTIC, NY — Jeffery W. Abinette helped a lot of people battling their own demons of drug addiction, feeling emotion in ways many do not, his brother, Travis, recalled.

Jeffery had been addled with a heroin addiction that took over his life for years, but he did not want to give in.

"He was sober on and off for years, but he didn’t accept a life with drugs," said Travis, a Mastic resident. "He strived for better, never allowing hopelessness to creep in."

It didn’t matter how many rehabs it took for him to try, Jeffery "kept getting back up on the horse when he failed," Travis said.

Jeffery's sister-in-law, Megan Lane, admitted he could be hard to love at times.

But, it was in one of those stays in rehab that Jeffery won Lane over. Although Lane had been dating Travis for only a few weeks, Jeffery had not yet met her young daughter, Simone. Instead, they met on a visit to rehab when Lane drove Travis to visit him, and she brought the then 1-year-old along in her stroller.

Seeing how comfortable Simone was with Jeffery warmed Lane's heart.

On day 28 of his time in rehab, he came visited Lane and talked to her like he knew her "a million years." He looked healthy and sociable, recalled Lane, a Wading River resident.

"He made my daughter laugh," she said.

Jeffery made a good first impression. Not just for that, but also for trying to get help the first time Lane met him, she said.

As time went on, Lane learned more about Jeffery's life and came to admire him for continuing to correct his life. He struggled, but he never settled for complacency, according to Lane.

"He was always trying," she said. "He never gave up, and a lot of addicts just give up and say, 'You know what? I can't get better. I give up.' And they are just complacent, and they just accept it. He never accepted that he wanted to be an addict for the rest of his life. He wanted more than that."

Several years ago, Jeffery found help from the Jake Koenigsdorf Foundation in Central Islip. He kicked drugs and got his life back on track. A social worker got him into the program, which paid the expenses of a plane ticket down to South Carolina for residential treatment in an apartment as part of an "Any Length Recovery," Lane said.

Once in the program, patients are evaluated for the severity of a person’s addiction, taking into consideration the eight dimensions of wellness, including mental and physical health.

The foundation's namesake died from a drug overdose inside his apartment at the age of 21. His mother, Kathy, started the foundation to reduce barriers to recovery by providing support, education, and recovery resources for people affected by substance use disorder and who are willing to build a long-term solution, according to the organization's website.

The idea behind Jeffery traveling out of state was to get him out of the element that he was used to, away from people he knew who used drugs, she said.

The concept worked. He never forgot the help that he received, Lane said.

He wanted to give back to the foundation, and on his last birthday, April 27, he started a fundraiser on Facebook to help. No one donated, angering Lane.

On Aug. 12 Jeffery, who had been sober for three years, died suddenly before he could continue those efforts. He was 34.

He had been controlling his cravings with methadone and was working with Travis at a taxi company. The two shared an apartment in Mastic, Lane said, adding that on that dark morning, at around 9 a.m., Travis went inside to wake Jeffery up for work, but found him dead on the floor, clutching his chest.

Lane said that no drugs were found inside Jeffery's room, but there is speculation that he was diabetic and might have had an undiagnosed heart condition. The Suffolk County Medical Examiner's Office conducted an autopsy, but the results have not been finalized, Lane said.

In the meantime, Jeffery's family and friends are heartbroken over his death.

After learning of his untimely death, Lane vowed that she would take up the mantle and try to raise awareness and money for the foundation. She launched a fundraiser on Facebook with the goal of raising $1,200 to help the foundation lend a hand to others in their hour of need.

"Why couldn't people have done that when he was alive?" he said. "It's not right."

Lane said she admired Jeffery for not only getting clean, but for all the struggles he overcame.

His parents divorced when he was young. His mother, Dawn, whom he and his three siblings lived with, died in her late 40s from cancer. He not only knew addiction, but was also in between living spaces, Travis said.

Lane, a recovering addict, said she most admired Jeffery for getting clean and helping others like herself.

This past February, Lane found herself in a bad place. After eight years of sobriety, she relapsed, she said. It is Jeffery and Travis that Lane credits for helping her to get through withdrawal and back on the right track when she stayed with them for three days, she said.

Lane said that because she had been sober for so long, she thought she was better than Jeffery because he had been sober only on and off.

"They helped me get clean, and they showed me a lot more compassion," Lane said. "They did not think that they were better than me."

Jeffery helped Lane get clean, she said. "Even though I looked down on him for being an addict for so many years — even though I am an addict myself," she added.

That mercy opened her eyes and led her to a change of heart, Lane said.

"I apologized to him," she said.

Lane is not the only one who noticed Jeffery's compassion and desire to help others achieve sobriety.

Between 100 and 200 young people, many from his recovery group, attended Jeffery's funeral services this week, Lane said.

"They were people that Jeffery touched," she said. "He changed their lives. He had an impact on their lives."