VIDEO: These Are the Little Punks Who Stole a Brooklyn Church's Jesus Statue, Cops Say

WILLIAMSBURG, NY — Last we saw of the three insufferable little punks caught on camera trash-bagging a Jesus statue and ripping it from its outdoor pedestal along rowdy South 3rd Street on the final night of April, they were looking rather grainy and nondescript. (Video below.) Could have been any three little punks in Williamsburg, really.

"Hipsters," grumbled Mother Maria Bendita of the Saints Peter and Paul Rectory, from whose front yard the Sacred Heart statue was stolen.

Again — any three little punks in Williamsburg.

But the rectory got two lucky breaks this week. First, a good neighborhood dude named Gabriel found the 4-foot statue in the trash about a block away from the church — tattered and journeyed, surely, but whole. So he then gave it to his mother, who sometimes attends mass at Saints Peter and Paul, and she returned it to the rectory, where, surely, it will live the rest of its days indoors.

And second: NYPD detectives got their hands on some sinfully clear surveillance footage of the three alleged little punks who snatched the Sacred Heart statue from its pedestal last month. (Included at the top of this post.)

Look familiar? Police are waiting for your call: 1-800-577-TIPS.

Or, if you, like many of us, don't know these kids from the next South 3rd Street riff-raff but are finding it hard to control your rage and your instinct to stereotype right now, turn your attention instead to this heartwarming story of homecoming, reported from the rectory earlier this week:

"A Prophet In Brooklyn, Twice Stolen, Is Found."