Moms Talk: What To Do When You Don't Like Your Kid's Boyfriend Or Girlfriend?

Each week the Mentor Patch Moms Council answers a question on parenthood posed to them by readers or another member of council.

This week's question: What do you do when you don't like your kid's boyfriend or girlfriend? Can you do anything?

Donna Milnes:

I believe that if you are involved with your children and their friends at a young age, you will get to know the friends they have as they become teens, hopefully.

One of my girls dated a young man that I didn’t care for and it wasn’t anything I could put my finger on. He was always polite but always seemed to have problems with his parents.

I didn’t say a lot of negative things to my daughter but she knew I didn’t understand the relationship. He didn’t have a lot in common with family, friends and her interests.

Part of the growing-up process is to learn about people you want in your life and the relationship was a young love experience that soon ended. As a parent, I think listening and discussing, without being too critical or forbidding is all we can do.

Hopefully good family values prevail.

Melanie Majikas:

My girls are still young enough that we have not had to deal with this situation yet. However, I do think that the more parents try to involve themselves in their children's romantic relationships, the worse it tends to be, especially with people you might not choose for them.

Unless there is a significant reason to disapprove of the relationship (the boyfriend/girlfriend being involved with illegal activities, etc., or a drastic change in your own child's behavior and/or school performance,) I'd be inclined to just let my child know of my concerns, but let the situation resolve itself.