5 THINGS: Stop T-T-T-T-Telephoning Me

Here are the (more than) Five Things for Wednesday, March 21, 2012:

Oooo oooo that smell! A health and environmental consultant will be at at 5 p.m. tonight to talk about the odor problems at the school. For more info, click .

Government meetings in full effect. Here are the government meetings for tonight:

• The Narragansett Pension Board will meet at 9 a.m. at .
• The South Kingstown Zoning Board of Review will meet at 7 p.m. at .
• The Narragansett School Committee will meet at 7 p.m. at town hall.

Hunger after The Hunger Games. Since a movie based on the book will be coming out Friday, the is capitalizing on the event. The library staff will be hosting crafts, trivia, game challenges and other fun stuff at 3:30 p.m. The recommended grades are seven and up, and please register ahead of time by calling (401) 789-1555. For more info, click here.

“ACTING!” – Master Thespian, Saturday Night Live. Have you wanted to perfect your craft for ages? Learn ACTING at the Wednesday workshop classes of the Contemporary Theatre Company, from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., at 50 South County Commons Way in South Kingstown. The cost is $10, and for more info, click .

Make A Difference project needs volunteers! If you like to make crafts, then the Make A Difference project could use your help. The group makes blankets for hospitalized children, and they meet every Wednesday, 9 a.m., at . For more info, click .

Protect your identity! will be hosting Sandra Cutting of H&R Block from noon to 1 p.m. Sandra (if that’s her real name) will be giving a free presentation on how to protect your identity. A light lunch will be included, and call (401) 789-7986 to reserve a seat.

“The files are INSIDE the computer?” – Zoolander. There will be a free class on computer basics from 2 p.m. to 3:15 p.m. today at . For more info, click .

Business, business, business. Sons of Liberty will be hosting Business After Hours today. Shockingly, I know, it’ll be from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. – you know, after normal business hours. To register, click here. The price is $5.

Spoiler alert: Kristin shot J.R. On this day in March 21, viewers threw their remotes (if they existed – I don’t feel like looking it up) at the television en masse for the first time, as Dallas ended on the classic cliffhanger, “Who shot J.R.?” If you wish to relive all of this in 2012, well, Dallas is set to start anew. (And hey, Patrick Duffy and Larry Hagman are both back!)

Happy 36^th, Vitaly Potapenko! I remember you… well, not quite fondly from your playing days from the Celtics, but you sure were interesting. You gave hope to any tall dude that couldn’t really play basketball, but who could bang around in the post a bit. Plus, you still managed to be better than Vin Baker. (Damning with faint praise, I know.)

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