Life After Breast Cancer

About this sponsorship: In honor of the 60th anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary's historic ascent of Mount Everest, Patch and Grape-Nuts are teaming up to highlight those who inspire people around them to climb their own mountains.

A year and a half after her cancer diagnosis, Tara Veit is living in the moment. She's learned to expect the unexpected.

For one, her new crop of dark brown hair is curly for the first time in her life.

And for another, she's discovering how different life feels when you are "present" with the ones you love.

"My new routine is that I don't spend as much time doing everything that I used to feel compelled to do. My new philosophy is, 'whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow.' I do my job and focus on my students, then when it's time to leave, it's time to leave," said Veit, a wife and mother, who is a guidance counselor at Nashua High School North.

"Now I take the kids out of daycare instead of leaving them there while I finish up paperwork at the office," she said of her two boys, ages 6 and 7.

In September of 2011 Veit was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer after finding a lump in her left breast. She left her job in early October of 2011 and was launched into the greuling treatment, only to find that she hadn't accrued enough sick time to maintain an income while she was undergoing chemo. Her school community rallied for a series of fundraisers to help her make ends meet, including a months-long knit-a-thon.

There were home visits and dinner deliveries and spaghetti dinners and the overwhelming kind of outpouring of love that Veit expects few people really understand, until it happens to them.

"I don't think there really are words to express how it feels," Veit said.

Once the tumor was anihalated, Veit had a double mastectomy and then, in August of last year, gave up her ovaries and fallopian tubes to the disease as well. Genetic testing showed she had the Breast Cancer 1 early onset, or BRCA1, gene mutation, which meant she was likely to develop ovarian cancer over time.

In December, Veit traveled to Dana Farber Cancer Institute with her sister for her six-month cancer-free check-up. Today, she looks radiant seated at her desk in her Keene State T-shirt and jeans, a small pile of paperwork and a bowl of grapes, nearby.

She said she's getting used to her new normal. She may walk a cancer walk now and then, or talk the cancer prevention talk, as needed, but she's no evangelist.

"It's a fine line for me to feel proud of myself, or wear that badge of courage for what I've been through. But I don't want the cancer to define my life. I want to take the positive things that I've gained through my experience, and just live my life," Veit said.

"If I was taking anything for granted, before the cancer, it was time with people. Especially the way we live in our world, where we're programmed to be in five places at once and thinking of the next 10 things you need to do," Veit said.

Given who she was before, it's still a struggle sometimes.

"Before, if I was reading to my son at bedtime and he didn't seem to be paying attention, I'd move him on to the next task. But a couple of weeks ago he was reading and looking at a picture, and a thought came to his mind. Instead of having that urge to stay on task, I just sat back and let the moment unfold. To see his imagination come to life –," Veit pauses, and smiles, " – that's what I've gained."

Her best advice to other women who may be facing down the demon of a diagnosis, Veit says simply, "trust your gut."

Veit had been having annual mammograms for several years before her diagnosis at age 39. Although her previous mammogram showed no sign of trouble, she also said her breast density was likely a factor in masking the tumor that had started growing in her left breast.

"There were things, looking back – like for years, I'd have these weird, intense shooting pains in my left breast – it was kind of random. It was like my body was trying to tell me something, long before the cancer was there, but it was nothing that prompted me to take action. And I knew I had cancer, before they confirmed it was cancer," Veit said.

"I just knew. But I also knew that this time – even if there is a next time – this time I wouldn't die. It was just something that I had to go through," Veit said. "I can't waste time worrying about what may or may not happen. I'm dwelling on this gift that I got, and I'm living in this moment."

Because radiation therapy followed her mastectomy in the spring, she wasn't a candidate for reconstruction right away. She thought she'd use prosthetics until next summer's reconstruction surgery, but has since decided not to worry about so much about the detoured curves of her body.

"It felt so fake and it wasn't a part of me, so I took them off. I figure this is just another layer I have to go through. Maybe people look at you and think you aren't the same as you were before, but honestly? I'm not the same as I was before," Veit said.

"And  – maybe it was ironic timing – but while I was waiting at Dana Farber I saw more people than I've ever seen before with amputated legs, or other body parts. I saw a woman who appeared to have survived a fire, and I thought to myself, 'Really?' I'm worried about a boob?' That put things into perspective," Veit said.

Although she's not the same, she also doesn't like to think of herself as a cancer survivor.

Instead, she prefers to think of herself as an enlightened woman, a joyful wife, a lucky daughter, a grateful sister, a thankful mom.

"Being breast cancer awareness month, I think it's important  to remember that the majority of women who catch cancer early, survive. I'd say genetic testing is a good thing. You can play the fate card, but with early detection you can battle the cancer more offensively than defensively," Veit said. "I have no regrets."